1001 Hetalian Nights
by MedicalNonsense
Summary: Collection of oneshots in the actual Hetalia universe. Rated M for the fluctuating content of chapters.
1. Just Lust

Another collection of one shots, oi oi, but unlike the other that takes place in an AU and is mainly focused on Canada and Prussia this one has no true focus and takes place in the actual Hetalian universe.

Okay, I was bored due to no internet access the other night and it was waaaay too early to go to bed when it set in so I did this little meme thing instead. So how it works is you take your three favorite pairings (Mine are PrussiaxCanada, GermanyxItaly and AmericaxJapan) from your favorite anime and you put your iPod or what have you on shuffle. The first three songs that come up are the ones you use (you can choose which couple to use on what song if you so wish) So yeah, since Canada and Prussia is my favorite pairing they are up first, next will be Gerita and then Ameripan.

--0~0;;--

Just Lust--Buzzcocks

He was drunk to put it lightly. The nation out with him was not quite as so but he was getting there. The albino man stared at him as if he were a piece of meat next to him instead of a person. Soon that blonde boy began to seem more like a woman to him. Sure, he could believe it if his inebriated brain tried hard enough. He hadn't had a lay in sooooooo long… He shook his head out, that boy was Canada, he couldn't do that, nope, never.

"Pruuuusssiiia! You're-hic-scary when you-hic-look at me like that! Stoooooop!" The blonde sure whined like a bitch at times… Prussia just chalked it up to the amounts of alcohol he had ingested, unless America drank with him more often than he thought the Canadian probably close to never drank.

_Lightweight_. The Prussian thought fuzzily as he looked back to his beer glass. "Cahn'd helf det 'm schcary, ya liddle pansy." He drank the last half of his glass and continued. "Ya know, you're lookin' hodder den I doughd you voult efder… 'Ow many's id been now?" His sozzled brain produced no number and he wasn't even going to try counting the glasses by his arm so he gave up.

Canada giggled like a little girl before answering. "Oh weawy eh-hic-?" Prussia turned to look at Canada as another drink was sat in front of him…

_Sooooooo looooong…_ Canada at this point was starting to look like a mighty fine fuck, why, if he just imagined he could see boobs and perhaps he could forget about the whole, you know, cock thing between his legs. _Yeah_, he could see it now. "Yeeeep." He popped his p at the end of his sentence whimsically. The boy next to him giggled and made the popping noise too for his own amusement.

"You're schmascht, gif me your keese." Prussia held out a less than coordinated hand to take the boy's keys but only found himself dropping them. "Dammid." He leaned down only to lose his balance and fall flat on his face to the floor. "Gah!"

"You're both soused." The bartender sighed and walked around the table, picking up the keys from next to the Prussian. "I can keep your keys for you until you come back tomorrow if that's alright." He asked the wavy-haired one.

Canada seemed to give it serious thought, but his pickled head was giving him no end of trouble so he merely nodded.

"Gimme your cell phone." The bartender then stuck out his hand at the boy.

"Wh-hic-why?"

"Callin' you and your buddy here a cab." He looked down at the completely bombed man as his make-out session with the floor continued.

"Oh!" Canada giggled for ever doubting the man. "Thank you." He handed the bartender his phone. The tender didn't have to look up cab phone numbers anymore, he had long ago memorized most of the book.

After the cab had been ordered, the bartender looked down at well-oiled man on the floor and looked to Canada. There was no way in Hell that tiny guy was going to lift a man like him out to the cab. He knelt down and poked the Prussian's shoulder.

"Geh ov me you baschdart!" Prussia shoved the man face-first away and shakily bolted to his feet.

"_Giiil_ he's trying to be niiice!" Canada whined, leaping from his stool to cling to the man's arm. "He-hic! He even-hic-called us a cab back to my house-hic!"

"Oh he dit dit he?"

"Y-Yeah!"

"Vell, vhat iv I don'd vand do rite in a cab vhat iv I vand do drife!?"

"Gilly don't-hic-do that!" The bespectacled nation tugged at the much older one's arm, towards the door, Prussia already had a running tab here anyway, they didn't have to pay _now_.

"Kesesese, call me 'Gilly' again."

"Cooome! Ooooon!" The bartender watched the two interact some more before shoving them both out the door, thankfully the cab was there and ready. After ordering the cab to drive to Canada's street he looked at the two. He shrugged, if they didn't have the money it was no concern of his. As long as he got his money in the end. The door was slammed on the two and the cabbie drove off.

"Oh, shit." He still had the Canadian's cell phone…

The back of the cab was a writhing mass of two bodies, the smaller of the bodies pinned beneath the larger.

"Led me invate your vidal regions!" Prussia growled into Canada's ear and ground their fronts together.

"Hey! Don't neither of you be claimin' nobody's 'vital regions' in the back of my car got it?!" The helpless cabbie yelled, he could try to boot them out, but they obviously weren't human… He could just feel it in his bones.

"_Prussia!_" Canada moaned and leaned into the pressure on his front, adding to the grinding motion.

"P-P-Please!!" The frustrated man yelled back at the two as a sloppy kiss ensued and there was the clumsy clinking of belts. He slammed on the breaks at a stoplight, throwing the two forward and onto the floor of the taxi. There was a loud moan from the back seat but the driver could no longer see what was happening.

"Ah! Ah-_aah_!" Sang a high-pitched voice, there was a guttural growl as a higher yelp escaped the first voice. The cab driver, eager to put this nonsense to a stop stepped on the gas pedal and sped off towards the described destination. All the while dealing with the incessant squeals and growls from the back seat.

"Victory!!!" The Prussian roared as Canada beneath him squealed his highest. There was the sound of a body collapsing and heaving breaths from the driver's point of view.

"My backseat!!!" The cabbie yelled in horror as he gripped at his hair and skidded to a stop in front of the nation's house… Wait the _nation's_ house?! His country was being _fucked_ by someone in the backseat of his cab?! Suddenly he didn't feel as bad… But he still had to get the two out of his car….

--0~0;;--

I know, sucky ending, but I wasn't sure how to XD Somehow I feel that perhaps the story became more about the humans dealing with the nations than the nations screwing in the backseat of a taxicab.

Be tee dubs, in my dictionary alone there are thirty-one different ways to say "drunk" and only two of them are formal XDDD

Also, I know of bartenders that take keys and are rather honest about returning them here.

Next up! Germany and Italy… Hopefully I won't get another song like just lust XD.


	2. Something

Something--The Beatles

Ludwig brushed aside a hair in Feliciano's face, he was an angel in sleep… How could the German resist a smile at his love's contented face? His round, smiling, beautiful face… What made him fall this head-over-heels for the man? He sighed when he arrived at the answer of "I don'd know.." All he knew was that he wasn't going to be saying goodbye to this wonderful boy for a very long time. Ludwig knew he would much sooner die than let go of him.

Feliciano was his.

"Veee~. Germany, why are you still awake?" Ludwig jumped and looked to Feliciano's eyes, they were their usual chocolate selves that always drew him in.

"I lof you Feliciano." He had said those words so many times but every time he did it still seemed so new to him. Every time Ludwig told the small Italian of his love for him his heart swelled in his chest. He also noticed that the German still blushed every time. Never mind that though, it was cute.

"Italy loves you too Ludwig!" The naked bodies squeezed together tightly in a sort of half embrace. The two's lips met halfway and a sweet, loving kiss filled what little space there was between them. "Mmm, _ti amo_." Italy nuzzled his face against Germany's once the kiss ended, Germany's warm arms wrapped around his smaller shoulders.

"_Mein Schatz._" Ludwig kissed the younger man again, pulling him ever tighter against him with the hand upon his hip.

"Ve. _Luuudwiiig_…" Feliciano purred against the blonde's lips as he pressed their groins together, this earned a nervous single chuckle from the larger of the two.

"Tiret. Sorry." The Italian only smiled and pecked the German's nose.

"Then sleep." He cheerily suggested as he snuggled against Ludwig's chest.

"_Süße Träume_." Not that Feliciano knew what that meant, but only a few such wishes would be relevant so he merely replied with "You too." Ludwig found himself smiling again, he would never let him go, he would always be by his side.

If Italy had been conscious at that moment, he would've decided the same.

-----

Ti amo--Love you

Mein Schatz--My lover

Süße Träume--Sweet dreams

Gah fluff, I love fluff and I need to practice it more often, sorry for the shortness of it, as much as I like dancing around a subject sometimes I like it when it's sweet and to the point, Kiku and Alfred! You're up next! Get jurr clothes on!


	3. XMas in Hell

X-Mas in Hell--Sixx AM

December 25, xxxx

America examined the syringe between his fingers, the way the light glinted off the ornaments on his tree and in turn the glass tube. Heroin, from the German _heroisch_ meaning heroic… Alfred smiled. This little syringe held his holiday spirit, the rest of it anyway, he had already taken around twenty milligrams earlier today, this would equal fifty total. When had it gotten like this? The smile turned into a frown as he decided it was better not to ask himself that question. That question would lead to _how_ it got like this… How many fights he had with England and Canada. How many times he'd hit them and yelled at them to leave him alone, it was his life… And Kiku… He didn't want to think about these things, not now, not on Christmas…

The other syringes he had laying by him looked so tempting… Just for that one moment he fancied upping his dose. End it all in one night naked beneath a Christmas tree with a needle pressed into his arm…

"No." He shook his head, one would do… But it wouldn't last, that's why he had more ready, right? He pressed the needle to his arm then, it broke the skin, his fingers on the plunger.

There was a knock at the door.

"Fuck." He grumbled, but decided not to take the needle out, whoever it was they could wait. His fingers began to press as the knock came again, this time harder. "Go away!" He yelled and made a shooing motion with his plunger hand as he allowed the vial to balance on the underside of his arm to the person that could not see him.

"_Amerika-san_!" His hand froze as it touched the top of the syringe again. _Damn it._ He slipped the needle from his skin, he couldn't deny that voice entry. "Open the door! I know you're home!" Japan was actually yelling, he sounded frantic.

America scratched at the rash on his arm and stumbled to the door, not caring to try to pull on clothes. Usually he was better about this, he would not let Japan see him… But he hadn't seen the man in a long time.

Upon opening the door Japan took in the full sight of him and stepped back, an embarrassed blush on his face. It was cold and he had a sheen of sweat over his body, but he chose not to notice. The only thing he saw was the dark-haired man wrapped up snugly in a coat and scarf.

"Hi." America smiled, attempting to be cheerful when really there was nothing behind the curvature of his lips.

"Herro Alfred…" America frowned as he saw something flash in Japan's eyes, what was it? Disappointment? "H-How are you?" The American shrugged and leaned against the frame of his front door.

"I'm doing fine. You?"

"It's been going alright… You forgot about the meeting today, though." A world meeting had been to day… What had he been doing? Oh that's right, curled up vomiting over the toilet, shaking and scratching around for what was left of the previous night's score.

"Yeah I couldn't make it, I had other things." America ruffled his hair with a smile on his face as Japan's look of neutrality became a glare.

"Busy shooting up?" The blonde dropped his pretense of a good mood as easily as Japan had.

"Is this what your coming here is about Kiku?"

"Alfred I-"

"Shut up. We haven't spoken in months and you come to visit to lecture me?!" His withdrawal spoke for him. "Or did you come to finally say you're sorry for leaving me?! What if I don't want to forgive you, what if I…! You should've listened and just gone away Kiku."

Japan did not look angry, but he didn't look disappointed, he didn't look amused either… There was nothing on his face, nothing.

"I just wanted to see you… I had hoped… That maybe you had gotten better in my absence…" America snorted and laughed bitterly at him.

"Tell me how fuckin' disappointed you are in me and leave already!" Kiku looked away from his former lover then, had he really hoped? He didn't feel let down by Alfred's appearance in the slightest… He had expected this to happen, soon the American was going to threaten to hit him like he did the first time he visited… When he would refuse to leave and try to help he would then slug him in the face and kick him a few times… That seemed right… And it was exactly what he was expecting… Nothing had changed… Gathering together his courage he looked back at the clearly angry man and spoke with no inflection.

"I loved you Alfred, I always loved you from the moment you first set foot in my land with those sailors… But now… I think there's something you need to know. I am not disappointed… For those who expect nothing never are." He turned from the dumbstruck, naked man and began walking away. "Merry Christmas, America."

America did not speak as the Japanese man walked away and eventually disappeared from view… He closed the door against the cold as his frame began to shake. The cold did not leave him though, the itch on his arms became worse and his head ached. Quickly, he made for the room the tree was gleaming brightly in, his presents sat beneath the tree exactly where he left them, his gifts to himself. Snatching up the syringes he dug one of them into the nearly collapsed veins of his left arm and pressed down on the plunger.

Then two more.

Kiku, Matthew and Arthur could think to say nothing the next day. The world was just oh so very suddenly a much darker place.

-----

Uhhh, yeah, character death, but hey! I was given a song and this is what I got from it. Screw you Nikki Sixx and your depressing Heroin Diaries.


	4. Some Nights

"Vhat's de madder _now_?" Gilbert asked Matthew as he sat down on the couch next to him. He flipped through the channels on the blonde's television absently. Matthew didn't respond, but simply sat there looking dejected and very much like a kicked puppy. The silverette's eyebrow rose and he turned to look at him. "Really now, vhat's wrong?"

"Nothing." Canada meekly responded to the man now was beginning to look irritated.

"If noding is wrong den you won't mint me vhen I ignore you." The blonde remained silent again. "Augh! Seriously!" Gilbert grabbed Matthew firmly about the shoulders and turned him to look at him. "Do you _enjoy_ trying to make me emotional?!" The smaller man smiled at him then, he had a black eye… "Vha… Who dit dis?!" Prussia pointed to the man's face his glasses looked fine though, whatever happened at least he wouldn't have to replace them.

"No one, it's not important, Gil."

"It's nod impordand my ass! No one hurds vhat's mine und geds avay vid it!" Matthew's brow furrowed at that.

"What's _yours_? You don't own me, if I don't want to tell you who did this then I don't have to." Gilbert rolled his eyes at the man, this happened every time he talked to Matthew about this. He _did_ belong to him though, sadly enough Gilbert also belonged to the wavy-haired blonde. They owned each other.

"_Mattie_, you ahre mine. Bud I'm also yours. Noding I ask of you coult be callt an orter ahs you do hev a mint of your own. Howefer, if you don'd belong to me jus tell me now so I cahn leaf."

"Don't turn this into an argument about whether or not I love you Gilbert, you know I do."

"So led me be a… _Caring_ lover and do _someding _aboud dat schiner!"

"That something doesn't have to involve hurting someone that doesn't deserve it…" Matthew snorted and looked away from Gilbert. He felt the couch cushion shift as Gilbert stood and made his way to the kitchen. "W-Where are you going?"

"Doing someding aboud your face. You neet ice." As Gilbert grumbled and moved about the kitchen Matthew settled back into the couch, a mischievous smile pulling at his lips. He really didn't have the heart to tell Gilbert that the man had accidentally elbowed him in the face last night while he was asleep…

-----

Notes:

Shiner--A black eye (I'm not sure if this is a commonly used substitute in places other than where I have lived, so just making sure)

I think Gil is rubbing off on Matt XD


	5. Incubus

_He stood at the edge of a black precipice, staring down into it's infinite depths, what was in it he wondered… The wind blowing up into his face carried with it promising smells and pleasant sounds. The familiar voice of a man hissing sweetly into his ear, smelling of maple syrup. This wind caressed his skin in many sweet ways, he could almost feel a pair of arms wrapping around his waist, swaying him pleasantly… Something rested itself on his shoulder, the young man jumped and turned his head to see what. A shock of silver billowing out and up with the same wind that was drawing Matthew closer and closer to the edge. The arms he thought he felt he soon found to be real, their nails digging possessively into his hips and stomach now._

_Canada was shaking violently in the arms of this person, truly afraid they were going to let him walk straight into the deep gorge. They even seemed to be urging him along without much force. The skin on the cheek he could see beneath the bush of hair began stretching into a toothy smirk. Matthew tried to squirm away, quickly thwarted by the owner of the hair. The man's grip tightened upon his hips and his hissing ensued once more, quickening Matthew's pace until he was nearly floating over the gaping maw of that canyon._

_Blood was beginning to flow from the angry furrows in his skin as he made a squealing noise and looked to the man leaning on his shoulder again. This time he could see his face, its red eyes entrancing him he did not fight anymore._

"_Hey dere Mattie." The Gilbert of this strange dream hissed and ran his tongue up the side of Matthew's neck. Why did Gilbert hold him at the edge of this obviously dangerous place?_

"_H-Hi, Gil." The silverette's tongue snaked out and licked up his neck again, it was somehow long enough to make it all the way up to his ear and lick its sensitive lobe. "Wh-What'cha doing?" He shivered at the contact._

"_I lof you." The voice was nearly demonic and the world shook, tilting everything sideways. Prussia laughed in his ear as he remained firmly rooted to the ground and Canada now dangled over the darkness. His possessive arms loosened. Out of the corner of his eye, Matthew saw the silverette's jaw unhinge, drool dripping down onto his shoulder and down into the black abyss. Each of his teeth was a little dagger, ready to shred his flesh. Not thinking this odd Matthew didn't even stare as the large tongue slimed all over his shoulder again. "Do you lof me?" _

"_Yes." Immediately upon speaking those words the shark's teeth dug in, cutting through flesh and muscle, blood quickly oozing out of his shoulder and into the mouth of the incubus latched to him. A terrible scream escaped the small blonde as Gilbert ripped the flesh from his shoulder and blood proceeded to waterfall down him. Ugly gnashing noises and grotesque squelching sounds made him want to vomit._

_That tongue again… Lapping up the sweet drips of his red life-force. His teeth nibbling on his bones, Matthew unable to fight. _

"_Kesesesesese, Goot." And the albino let go, dropping Matt to whatever fate there was in that terrible hole._

"Gilbert!" Canada jumped up in bed, a cold sweat coating every inch of him. The man asleep (now no longer) next to him sat up calmly and looked at him. He didn't look amused at all at having his sleep interrupted by a certain screaming Canadian.

"Vhat is it?" Prussia yawned and scratched his stomach. Matthew threw his arms around him and hugged him close. "Vhat?" The boy was clearly very upset, he was shaking and wet (not in the good way either). "I cahn'd help if you jus' say noding."

"Y-You're not just using me are you?" Matthew blurted in his moment of hysteria as he hugged Gilbert tighter than he ever had before.

"V-Vhat?! Using you?!" Violently, he tried to pry the boy from him as his embrace was now starting to hurt. The feeling of hot tears sliding down his back reminded him that he had to be a bit more gentle. "Alrighd, Matt, led goh." Slowly the boy unwrapped himself from the ex-nation and he settled for sniffling pitifully in front of his lover.

"Y-You're not, are you?" This was embarrassing on so many levels but he needed to know… He couldn't meet the glowing red orbits focused so intently on him.

"Mattie, if I vere using you, trusd me vhen I say dat I voultn'd schtill be heir. Really, I sometimes vonter aboud your sanidy. Vhat de fuck mate you dink dat I vas using you?"

"W-well…" The blonde nation hiccupped and sank forward slightly, realizing how stupid it must sound for him to get so riled up about a mere nightmare. "I-I…" Prussia groaned and pulled Canada close, making him sit in his lap.

"You acd like such a pansy sometimes. Bud, I schtill lof you idiod." He ran a pale hand through the silky hair atop his lover's head gently. Canada didn't respond, he just buried his face deep into the crook of Prussia's shoulder and neck.

"_Mein Gott_, Matthew. Vhat vill calm you down unt led me go back to schleep?" Once again no response. The older growled and reached up to muss his hair, a headache coming on. "Voult you jus' look aht me for von secont?" Finally, Canada shifted his face slightly to look up at the obviously irritated albino. The red eyes almost looked worried and the feather-light kiss to his forehead held boundless affection behind it. "Cahn ve fucking goh to bet now?" Usually that was all it took…

More tears pricked at Matthew's eyes as he hid his face in Gilbert's shoulder again. He knew the man loved him… So why did he let a nightmare shake him so? Why did--

"Ahahahahahaha!" The Prussian's fingers strummed up and down the Canadian. A wicked grin plastered itself to the man's face all the while. Soon Matthew gasped for air and squirmed trying to get away from him.

"G-Gil! Stop!" He couldn't get his words out past his laughing as the larger of the two pinned him backwards to the bed. Gilbert had some very talented fingers… "I-I can't breathe!"

"Nod undil you schtop dis crying of yours!" More squirming, laughter and grinning Prussians.

"Alright, alright! I give!" Gilbert laughed triumphantly as he pulled the boy up to meet his lips. Matthew chuckled slightly against the kiss and wrapped his arms around the albino, running his nails up and down his scarred back. "Thanks Gil…"

"Mmn, it vas my _pleasure_." He purred seductively into the Canadian's ear. Matthew smiled and pulled the two down to the bed, nuzzling his face into Gilbert's neck. "Cahn ve goh to schleep now?" Canada made a face, staring at him sarcastically. There was nothing but sincerity on the obviously exhausted man's face.

"Alright." The smaller man kissed Prussia's nose before snuggling against him again. Prussia took a deep breath and sighed contentedly, mussing Canada's hair, he smelled like maple syrup all the time… It was the last thing he thought before slipping off to join his lover in sleep.

-----

Notes:

Mein Gott--My God

Meeeeh… I didn't finish this last night and it's piss with ink… I'm not sure why I'm posting it. Feeling better this morning btw. Gotta go to school so yeah post'n go.


	6. Medical Mary

Just because I wanted a quick laugh and someone brought this up XDDD Oh and don't worry I'm working on Aftermath, and a research paper, but my paper is frying my brain. This place seems more like a repository for my PruCan fics than anything else, but I swear I have others written, I just never seem to get around to transferring them from paper to computer.

-----

The house was quiet, eerily quiet… This never happened when Prussia was around… So was the man not in the house? Canada thought for a moment, tapping his chin lightly in a thoughtful gesture. Gilbird was nowhere to be heard and Kumajiro was not to be seen either… The earlier had been expected since if Prussia was indeed _not_ here but Kumajiro's absence made him curious. Usually the moment he walked in with crackling bags of groceries the bear was upon him like ants at a picnic.

Why was Prussia gone anyway?

_Maybe he's visiting Germany?_ Matthew wondered as he walked into his kitchen. "Kumakichi! I have fish!" After assessing that there was no ball of fluff tripping over himself every other step racing through the door of the kitchen he grew worried. The bear usually never left the house, sure, yes there was a small door out the back that went into a fenced in yard area but Kumajiro never seemed to like the outside much. Matthew had raised him from a baby in his living room and he, despite being a polar bear, wasn't particularly fond of the snow.

A noise from the living room across the foyer caught Canada's attention. Maybe Kumajiro _was _here.

"Lazy." He scoffed, assuming the bear too, well, lazy, to get off his butt to get his food.

Cutting open the package, Matthew took a fillet out and plopped it unceremoniously onto a small plate, the bear had obviously had a rough day of doing nothing (while he himself had to go deal with parliament) and was to be waited upon head and paw. Well, today was not going to be the day the bear got his wish, Matthew merely sat the plate down on the floor where Kumajiro's food was usually deposited.

As Canada started putting his groceries away, his mind drifted back to Gilbert. Where was he? Usually the man would send him a text or something if he was going to visit someone, even on really short notice. He doubted Prussia was asleep, it was only about five and the man's enthusiasm knew no bounds, the albino rose the with the sun and fell long after it did. Maybe he was out drinking? No, Prussia would have _made sure_ to tell him if that was the case. Always wonderful to know when to expect a phone call from the local police station.

"Hm…" Maybe he was around the house somewhere waiting for him then? The Canadian shivered at that thought. Gilbert could be so spontaneous with their love-making sessions it was difficult to tell if he was going to get anything done in a day. So (if he had the chance) Matthew always made sure to get everything done _before_ returning home.

More noises reached his ears from the living room, this sounded more like the laughter he was so familiar with… But it seemed… So calm compared to the man it usually came from, so was someone _else_ in his house.

"Oh, damn." Canada pulled a hockey stick out of the sleeve of his jacket and held it at the ready as he slowly made his way out of the kitchen and through the foyer. The sight that met him upon entering the living room was not one he had been expecting to say the least.

Canada had found out that Prussia had indeed _not_ left the house… He was laying on his couch, beer cans littering the floor, eating cookies. Strangely familiar looking cookies too… And muffins… And brownies…

_Holishit no!_ Gilbert seemed to notice him then as an appropriate look spread across the blonde's face.

"_Hallo_ Mattie, how ya doin'?" The albino asked, attempting to sit up with a very spaced-out look on his face. Gilbird fell from his head in some sort of daze, landing on top of the white ball of fuzz on the floor. Oh God, they'd eaten them too…

"Gilbert… Have you been eating what I think you have been?" Matthew asked apprehensively.

"Your awesome cookies? Yeah!" He chuckled to himself. "Duuude, I am like… Soh chill righd now." Added on top of the numerous cans of German beer… This man was not only smashed, but high as a kite. "Vhy do you hev dem anyvay? I'm nod complaining bud… _Dude_ you neet to schare dese dings vid me." He reached for another cookie and bit into it.

"You let _them_ eat them too?" Canada motioned to the stoned bear and bird.

"It's ahll cool." He chuckled again at seemingly nothing. "Dey're soh chill dey don'd efen know vhat's going on."

_I suspect you don't either…_ "Uhm, they _were_ for my depression awhile ago…. I just never got rid of them and apparently I should've…"

"_Vhy_? Vasding veed?! Dat ist nod righd!"

"Because, Gilbert, you got a freaking _polar bear _high!" Canada wasn't really angry, this was all very amusing, he was slightly worried about the out-of-commission bird Kumajiro was holding between his paws.

Gilbert opened his mouth as if to retort, but stopped as he seemed to have forgotten what he was going to say.

"Vhat vas it I vas going to say…?" For the better part of five minutes Matthew and he waited in silence as the albino attempted to remember what exactly it was he was going to say. After said time he forgot about what he was doing and looked down to the fabric of the couch. "Damn, dis is like… De sofdesd couch efer… I vant to make lof to it…" His befuddled mind suddenly had a very muddled idea as he began to leer at his lover as if he were a piece of meat.

"Ueh… Gil, what's with the look?"

"You know…" Gilbert sat up and smirked at him. "De new vort ist 'legs' soh how 'boud you come ofer heir und help me… Spreat de vort?" He quirked his eyebrows, actually thinking that was one of the greatest come ons he had ever come up with.

Matthew meanwhile struggled to keep his laughter inside, where it belonged. He made no move forward, but he obviously wasn't about to leave. Gilbert, seeming to sense this even while totally baked got to his feet and, attempted, _attempted_ to advance upon Canada on the other side of the room. Quickly, though he discovered just how good a kisser the hardwood floor of the room was as he had a wonderful make-out session with it.

"Gil!" Matthew raced to his side, still trying not to laugh. What made it all the harder was the fact that out of the corner of his eye he caught Kumajiro bathing the yellow chick in a fountain of saliva. "Are you alright?" The assault that met the Canadian was… _Pleasant_.

The Prussian assaulted the boy with kiss upon kiss, groping various vital regions all the while. Matthew could feel his face turn red as the enthused fingers found their way to the zipper of his pants.

"Gil I am _not_ having sex with you while you are high!" The man was promptly ignored as a hand invaded the inner cloister of his pants. "Ahh! Nnn…"

"_Bitte_?"

"_No!_" The hand cupped the quickly growing bulge trapped within the confines of the Canadian's pants.

"Vhy?"

"B-Because you're high… That's really distracting."

"I _lof_ you Mattie." Gilbert said in a sing-songy sort of voice, slowly pleasuring the erection from the oppressive clothing item. Matthew sighed and tilted his head back with a small moan, whatever, it was better he was having sex with him than someone else.

"I love you too Gilbert." A sound near a squeal escaped him as he felt a warm wetness envelope his hard length. "Aaah! Gil!" His whole body snapped forward at that moment, nearly choking the man he now embraced. For once, not seeming to care about the absent bucking, Gilbert carried on, his tongue swirling around the sensitive head.

More noises proceeded to pour from the boy's mouth as the Prussian continued to pleasure the cock he was slowly taking more of into his own. Knowing enough about what he was doing (presumably after having done it for so many years) Gilbert had the sense of mind to hold his lover's bucking hips down.

Matthew's hands were fisted tightly in the silver hair as he tried to force more of himself into that wonderfully wet mouth, to which Prussia obliged. Slowly, his head started to bob up and down, only increasing the sounds coming from Canada.

"Oh my god, Gilbert! Gilbert!" He was so vocal during these intimate moments it was surprising just how little talking he did outside of them.

The sucking grew slightly harder and the pace faster, Prussia's throat having finally become more accustomed to the length inside it. Along with this Canada grew louder, squealing and moaning the nation's human name all the while

"I-I think--" He didn't even get to finish his sentence as orgasm gripped him and he came into the Prussian's waiting mouth. Exhausted, he slouched down onto Gilbert, clutching him tightly and panting into his ear.

Prussia pulled back, licking his lips and seemingly deep in thought. He tilted his head up slightly and Canada kissed him slowly and passionately, tasting himself on his lover's tongue. The albino smirked against the lips after a moment.

"My turn to hev some fun." Have fun they did, while Canada would complain later that the floor had not been a suitable place for love making they both would comment on the feeling of being watched during the whole endeavor…

-----

Notes:

Hallo--Hello

Bitte--Please

Marijuana in cookies--Medical Marijuana is legal in Canada and is often baked into sweets such as muffins and cookies. I figure that Canada _has _to have been depressed sometime in his life and therefore he would have some of them still left over. I'm pretty sure this is also where Alfred gets his pot (haha it doesn't all come from Mexico!)

In all honesty when I started typing this I didn't intend for the whole blow job to be in there, it was started as just something funny but I ended up spending far too long on it XD oh well, I am in a much better mood though so I shall get back to my research paper.


	7. Kitchen Wars

Got bored during TCM--my math class, so this is what happened.

-----

"Oh, _Westen~_!" Uh,oh, Prussia was in his house again… The man was a ninja sometimes, how did he _not_ notice the ex-nation nearly every time he was being sneaky? One would've figured the man would have lost his touch after so many years of not existing… Either way, the man was very old--_Older than dirt as America would say_--and hence very experienced, but a total hooligan.

"Vhere ahre you _Osten_?" Ludwig looked about his kitchen, sitting the pan of food off the burner with an apprehensive look. Whenever Gilbert chose to invade _this_ particular room terrible things happened. There was a sly "kesesese" from somewhere out in the hall. Damn, he would be helpless if he merely just strode out that door… Having a feeling his brother's playful mood would lead to the destruction of his house, he made a note to call Japan. Every time he humored his brother's moods he never was quite sure why since the activities that commonly took place during ruined his house. At least Japan never seemed to mind helping him clean.

Slowly, the German inched his way out the door, freezing at the feeling of something pressing into his ear. It felt like a nozzle of some sort…

"Kesesese, hes peace mate you absend mintet?" Prussia's voice hissed as a finger pressed down on the nozzle, a small amount of air leaking into his brother's auricle.

"Oh, you voultn'd _dare_." Ludwig replied, realizing exactly what it was inserted in his ear.

"Bud I voult." The smirk was very prominent in his voice, Ludwig didn't have to look at him to know it was there. Just as the blonde nations attempted to escape his fate, Prussia pressed on the nozzle head.

"Agh!" The taller exclaimed as whipped cream shot into his ear canal. Prussia's other hand rose at the same time, assaulting the blonde's face with another can of the sweet dairy.

"_Das tut weh, Gilbert?!_" Germany's hand met with the front of Prussia's face, shoving him away. Everything in his left ear sounded weird and it was an odd feeling in general having whipped cream inside of it. Prussa was still busy laughing and pointing, his eyes sealed shut and completely unaware of the plan formulating within the German's head.

"Hey, _Osten_."

"Vhat?" Gilbert opened an eye, clutching his stomach with a big grin on his face. The neck of a beer bottle was pointed at his face, judging by the fizz building up… "Shid!" Germany popped the top from behind, using a metal bottle opener. The yellowy liquid sprayed out immediately and all over the albino ex-nation's face and up his nose. It looked worse than a newbie shot-gunning his first beer.

Germany stood where he was, shaking a can of beer now, a smirk just like Prussia's lighting his face.

"Oh no, no, no!" The silver-haired man pulled a can from his pocket just as Germany punched a hole in the can using the same metal opener from earlier and threw it to him. Making a break for the back of the couch as the foam fountained onto his spitting angry sibling. "I'll ged you for dat!"

"Sure you vill!" Germany taunted, poking his head out from behind the couch. His forehead met swiftly with the cylinder of an aluminum can, splitting it down it's weakened center and coating him in the bitter liquid. "Kesesese" and Prussia was gone.

Most likely, if Germany knew anything, Gilbert was in the kitchen retrieving ammunition and doing God only knows what to that precious room.

Army-crawling to the end of the couch closest to the kitchen door, Germany made sure to survey the area before standing and dashing for the room. Sudden laughter and a pain in the back of the blonde's head alerted him to the fact that he had slipped and landed flat on his back.

"Kesesese, you schoult pay more attention, tile can be… Schlippery." The albino grinned haughtily as he flipped a stick of butter around his index finger. Ludwig growled and jumped to his feet, taking a forceful step forward and nearly falling over again. This elicited a chuckle from Prussia and something being pulled from the back of his belt… Mentos. Germany's eyes widened, oh, shit. There was a bottle of diet soda in the man's other hand, already open and waiting.

Forgetting about the greased floor, Ludwig attempted a dash half-way across the room for his brother's hands; Prussia dropped a few of the mints into the mouth of the plastic bottle. Instead of making it to his hands, Ludwig slipped once again, sliding across the room and taking Gilbert down to the floor with him. The bottle of soda exploded over the both of them and the ceiling, now _everything_ was sticky.

"Gottdammid _Westen_! You ruint my plan!" Gilbert complained while he wiped the de-fizzed soda from his face.

"You ruint my kitchen, ve're efen." Prussia sat up on top of his brother, tossing the spent bottle away and across the greased-up floor.

Noticing the position the two were in, Germany sighed. "Now voult be a bat time for Elizeveta to appear no?" Really, he decided that perhaps he should not have said anything as a smirk drew itself over Prussia's face.

"Don'd vant her to see us in all our faggy glory?" Ludwig felt an eyebrow rise up his forehead as his broth leaned in closer, his smirk changing into a grin.

"'Our faggy glory'? Soh you finally--" Prussia cut him off with his lips, pressing them tightly against his little brother's. "Nnn."

"Aah!" The both of them jumped, Ludwig turned his head away from the ex-nation above him to see Italy, groceries in hand, standing in the doorway.

"No! Feliciano! it's nod vhat it looks like!" Germany quickly shoved his brother off him and jumped to his feet, nearly slipping at least eight times between his current position and the door. After successfully escaping the kitchen he ran after the small man that had fled the scene.

Prussia merely stayed on the floor laughing, he licked his lips.

"Nod bat _Westen."_

-----

I really need to go to school now, but yeah, wrote this in math class yesterday and wanted to post it before going to school. I now don't have time to eat this morning.


	8. A Soccer Ball

This is a Christmas Eve present to a friend of mine :) it's also my first official Spainmano fic. Started as an idea as I was writing Memory (which, don't worry chapter 5 is coming quite nicely and will be one of the longest chapters yet since it covers many Aftermath chapters) and eventually ended up as its own fic. Part two will be a Christmas Day present XD

Merry-Erry Christmas to everyone!

-----

Part I

Foreward! Left! Right! Left! Right! Up! Headbutt!

"Gooooooooooooooooal!"

"Shut up ya bastard!" There was a muffled noise of a bare foot meeting a soccer ball and a sudden pain to the side of Spain's face. He hit the grass-covered ground with a light thud, the ball that had bounced off his face rolling off somewhere in the distance like a bloody Roman war device.

"Ow." Spain complained, rubbing his for sure bruising cheek.

"You're fine. Get up." Romano came to bend over the brunette nation, the warm sun shining down above him.

"Sore loser." The one laying on his back complained, reaching up to grab at the boy's flyaway curl.

"Ah! Not this time!" Lovino yelped, standing up straight and backing away as Antonio got to his feet.

"Not this time, huh?" A mischievous smirk curved Antonio's lips. Usually, it was hard to see why he, Prussia and France were such good friends, but times like this, it wasn't such a farfetched idea. They circled one another for a few moments, Antonio bent down in a position to grab Lovino and the other upright.

"Think you can catch me bastard?" Lovino snorted skeptically. Antonio's smirk seemed to say "oh you bet'cha". "You seem to forget what nation I am." Never had being good at retreating been something to boast about, but he figured here it was okay.

"Coward."

"What?!" The outraged man stomped his foot, advancing a step across the circle.

"Gotcha!" Spain lunged with open arms and a bright smile. The thinner nation quickly twisted his way from the Spaniard's grasp and ran in the opposite direction from him.

"Haha! Got to do better than _that_ bastard!" He called over his shoulder as he bolted. _Run! Run like the British are coming!_ Daring a look back over his shoulder, he was surprised to not see Antonio _anywhere_… "Did you go home?! What the fuck Antonio?!" He skidded to a stop and looked around frantically for the deserter. Snorting, very disappointed, he trudged back over to where the soccer ball had landed earlier only to see that ball was gone. _Oh crap…_

"Head's up!"

"Uwa?" Lovino instinctively looked in the direction the voice had come from, only for him to get an eye full of black and white pentagons.

"Ah! Lovino!" The over-excited Spaniard yelped at seeing the boy fall backwards onto his back. Quickly, he rushed to the man's side and dropped to his knees, skidding to a stop by him. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea given he now would have holihell grass stains on his knees, but at the moment that didn't matter! "Oh my love! Speak to me!" He whined, gathering the small Italian up in his arms "_Mi amor. _¿_Estás vivo_?" Carefully, he brushed some of the boy's hair out of his face, that was going to be a nice bruise… Probably a black eye from the looks of things.

A small sniffle escaped Romano as he reached up to hold his eye that had taken most of the brunt of the blow.

"¡_Oh, mi amor, lo siento_!" Spain carefully took the boy's hand. "H-Here let me see it."

"_S_-_Spagna_…" Romano sniffled again, he looked so adorable! Positively huggable! Like a teddy bear that will bite your head off!

"Yes ?"

"Toni, come closer." The Italian pleaded, gripping Antonio's hand that had moved his own from his eye.

"Of course my love." Antonio leaned in closer, a happy smile on his face, surely Lovino would kiss him now! Surely!

"Toni…" There was a pause as Lovino seemed to need time to phrase something correctly. "You're a bastard." A well-placed smack met the Spaniard's face and Lovino once again weaseled his way out of the man's grip and slipped away.

"_Eres tan lindo_…" Spain smiled to himself as Lovino waited for the man's next move, entertaining himself by kicking the soccer ball around between his two feet. "I love you Lovino."

"Yeah, yeah." Spain was up on his feet once again, only to have the soccer ball kicked between his legs and effectively tripping him. "Hah! Bet you didn't see that coming!" While his face was having a wonderful time eating the world's carpet, Antonio's right hand tapped its fingers in the greenery. "C'mon, get up!" Lovino walked closer and poked the man's head with his foot. This appendage was then seized by Antonio's hand and he was swiftly wrenched to the ground, landing on his back. Working quickly, Spain pushed himself up and crawled over the smaller of them, sitting on his stomach. "Oof! You're heavy! Get off fatass!" Lovino gasped as Spain leaned over and kissed his neck. "Nnn, now isn't the time! Get off!"

"And why not?" Spain teased, kissing down to the man's collarbone and nibbling on it.

"We're in my backyard! Ah!" Oh those glorious fingers… The Spaniard knew just what the Italian liked as he gently rolled his _ahoge_ between his fingers. "Nnnm… Mmm… _Antonioooo_… _Stooooop_." Lovino half-heartedly whined and Antonio kissed back up his neck until he got to his mouth. At first, he teased the boy's lips, placing kisses only at the corners of his mouth.

"I love you Lovi." Romano heard his lover coo to him. He squirmed uncomfortably beneath the other as he started to lightly grind their hips together.

"Ahn, mnn…" Nothing coherent was coming out of _that_ mouth any time soon, so Antonio made use of the empty space, filling it with his tongue. There was no battle for dominance with these two, Lovino was only happy to let Antonio take the lead. He wasn't exactly a romantic person despite the fact the word came from the area he was named for. Lovino made a dissatisfied noise as Antonio retracted his tongue from the other's mouth. A smile on his face, the smile was enough to make the Italian blush and look away from him as another kiss was placed on his hairline. "I love you too."

"I know." Spain pecked Romano's forehead again and stood up. "Germany's at the front door!" He cheerfully announced.

"What?! You don't just…. Agh!" A very (sexually) frustrated Lovino yelled as Antonio laughed himself all the way into the house to answer the door. _I'm getting you back for that, fucker!_

_-----_

Notes:

Goooooooooal--Anyone ever noticed they just go on and on?

Mi amor. ¿Estás vivo--My love. Are you alive?

Oh, mi amor, lo siento--Oh my love, I'm sorry!

S-Spagna--S-Spain…

Eres tan lindo--You're so cute…

To be concluded Christmas Day.


	9. And a Basket of Tomatoes

Second half of my Christmas gift to a friend, this one more in keeping with American tradition. Also, to take a poll, who here exchanges presents on the 24 and not the 25? I'm trying to see if my family is just weird or something.

-----

Part II

"I fuckin' hate you." The German stared down at the insulting Italian for a few moments, another Italian hanging off his shoulders with a curious look.

"Vhy now?" Ludwig asked, Feliciano's brother _always_ hated him, but it would be nice to hear a new reason for once.

"I was about to get laid when you fucking appeared, potato bastard." The blonde now took a few steps back his face turning as red as the basket of tomatoes at his ankle. Feliciano laughed, slipping off the German's back and patting his shoulder. It was so funny to see the man this embarrassed.

"Ve, sorry for the interruption brother! I just wanted to give you this!" Italy bent down and picked up the basket of tomatoes. Lovino only stood there, a glare plastered to his face as he surveyed the basket of tomatoes.

"There are tons of those here, why should I care?"

"Lovi, be nice." Antonio flicked the boy's curl, eliciting a surprised yelp.

"D-D-Don't do that!" The Italian yelped, rounding on Spain and hitting him in the side of the head.

"Nod vhile I'm hier eider!" Ludwig would have preferred not having seen the older man molest his lover. Even if it was only flicking that curious piece of hair. Spain only laughed and patted Lovino's head. Silently he was laughing at Germany in his head, it was hard to believe that Prussia was the man's brother.

"Oh, brother, I wanted to see if you liked them. I've been growing them in Germany's backyard! He says the plant can't stay, though and there are enough tomatoes in the house as it is…" Italy looked pleadingly back at the tall German who did nothing more than snort and shake his head. The plant was getting so huge! It had already engulfed all the other plants he had in the small garden. "But _why_?" The boy whined.

"Noh! Ve hev discusst dis at leasd ten times now! You know vhy Mischder Tomatohead cahn'd schtay!"

"But, but, but-"

"_Feliciano…_" Germany growled in warning like an irritated parent. The shorter shrunk back with a sad, defeated look on his face. He offered the tomatoes again, tears pricking at his eyes.

"German tomatoes, huh?" Spain plucked one of large fruits from the top of the basket and weighted it in his hand, it was about two pounds. "Looks good…" He took a bite and smiled. "Lovi these are delicious!" The Spaniard held out the tomato to his little lover, attempting to get him to try it.

"No! Nothing that comes from _that_ man's backyard is good!" Spain sighed and took the very heavy basket from Italy.

"Thank you. Oh and if the little guy hasn't already bitten the dust, do you want to try and transplant Mr. Tomatohead to this backyard?" Lovino jumped at the suggestion, an irritated growl escaping his throat.

"Spain! No!"

"Oh, but Lovi, what's the harm?" Italy leaned back on Germany at this point, both of them watching as another fight between the two ensued. The small Italian looked so dejected, but slightly less so at the suggestion that Mr. Tomatohead could be alive somewhere he could visit. Germany just shook his head and patted Italy on the shoulder.

"Something of his will be in my yard is the harm! I don't want no fuckin' giant German tomatoes in my yard!"

"Oh, but you haven't even tasted it. Here." The Spaniard shoved the tomato into the other man's face, successfully getting the juice all over it and on the white t-shirt he was wearing.

_Uh oh… _Everyone present thought simultaneously as the ticking time-bomb of an Italian twitched.

"Uhm, I dink… Italy und I vill goh now…" Germany grabbed the smaller man's shoulders and slowly backed away.

"You're not going anywhere because this is all your fault!" Romano screeched as he snatched a tomato from the pile in the basket and threw it at the taller man. It smashed in Germany's face and bounced off down to Italy's head.

"Nooooo! Mr. Tomatohead!" He started crying and cradling the ruined tomato. Germany gave Romano a _very_ unpleasant glare just then. Not only did he have tomato guts in his hair and on his face, but now he had gone and made his friend cry. Did he not even _think_ of how much trouble that gave him?! Soon Romano found that same tomato smashed in his face as Germany snatched the ruined fruit from Italy's hands and re-gifted it. The angry spluttering that followed reminded everyone of that cartoon character of America's. What was his name? Donald Duck?

Spain wasn't too happy either, picking up another tomato and smearing it all over Germany's face and in his hair. Italy was still crying and neither of the men particularly were paying attention to him.

"You're going to visch you't nefer done dat…" Blondy growled to the Spaniard. Spain dropped the basket as everyone (Italy excluded) dove for the tomatoes, each squishing them against one another and successfully making a great mess of the front hallway. Italy just sat and watched as all his hard work was merrily torn apart by three of his family members. His best friend, and his two older brothers were only happy to kill Mr. Tomatohead's children!

A sudden loud thud brought Italy out of his tearful reveries. Germany was on the floor, apparently he had slipped on a tomato and now Spain and Romano were having a grand ole time just squishing the remnants of other tomatoes all over his nice uniform.

"Italy!" The big man sputtered. "A liddle help voult be nice!" He struggled to get up as the other two seemed intent upon drowning him in tomato juice.

_Help Germany?!_ Feliciano immediately sprung to his feet. "I'm coming Luddi!"

"Don'd call me dat!!"

"I'm coming Germany!" Italy announced again with his edited version, jumping on top of the Spaniard and his older twin.

"Oof!" They all groaned in unison, Germany especially.

"How ist dat helping me!" He yelled at the new weight on his stomach.

"Get off!" Romano yelled, punching Italy in the side as Spain extricated himself from the dog-pile. He sat back and watched with a smile on his face as Germany had to endure Lovino beating Feliciano on his stomach.

"Ow! Dat hurds! Ged ovf me!" Germany sat up, forcing the two to roll off his stomach and into Spain, knocking him back from his sitting position to the floor. Lovino landed on top of him and somehow, Feliciano ended up with his face buried in his twin's rear end. "I'm nod going to say anyding aboud dat…" Germany said as he looked away, his face as bright a red as any Christmas tree light.

"Hi Lovi!" Spain merrily kissed the boy on the nose. Quickly, Romano's brain switched gears, now was time for that payback!

"Hello Toni." Lovino wiggled his hips slightly, only just now aware of just where his little brother's face was. "Can you fucking get up?!" He yelled back at his now very disoriented brother.

"Germany! Where did I go?!"

"I don'd dink you vant to know…" The two then examined the pair on the floor as a low moan issued from one of them. "Vhile ve're schtill hier?! Vhat de Hell?!"

"You can always leave." Spain moaned as he flipped the two over, Romano beneath him.

"Neh-neh! Luddi, can we eat som-"

"You vant to ead _now_?! Ahren'd you de leasd bid-… You know, I don'd vant to know. Ve'll goh vherefer you vant as long as it istn'd hier." Germany stood, pulling Italy with him as the two writhing masses on the floor seemed to forget they were even there. Clothes were quickly becoming something nonexistent. "Hurry up!" Ludwig urged the man out the door.

"But wait! I need my basket back!"

"Hurry it up den!" He frantically answered the Italian as he walked over to where the fight had been just as a high squeal came from presumably Lovino. The German shivered in disgust, he did not even want to be in this house! Let alone five feet from the naked couple. "I'm leafing now!" He darted out the door just as another high squeal met his ears.

"Ah! Right there!" Why didn't he close the door after him!? Quickly he ran back to the door, Feliciano exiting as he did.

"Have fun _fratello_!"

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" Italy giggled as he knew his brother really hadn't heard him and Germany slammed the door.

"Germany is such a prude!" The small man giggled again, patting his friend's beet-red face.

"Cahn ve jus goh?" Germany replied in a defeated voice.

"Can I keep Mr. Tomatohead?" Italy asked one last time, his head tipping to the side.

"_Ja_, vhatefer… C'mon…"

"Teehee! Thank you Ludwig!" The tall blonde groaned, somehow, he had the feeling this had been planned.

-----

Notes:

Engulfed his garden--I positively fawn over my tomato plants and they actually do engulf my garden every year, it's funny to see my other plants compete. Then I'm sad because they strangle them…

Fratello--brother

I don't have much to say about this other than Merry Christmas day! Lol, hope everyone enjoyed this!


	10. Comparing Sausages

Misleading title is misleading XD

Something random that came from a short conversation with a friend of mine from Germany. It's simply something making fun of how complicated Americans can be sometimes XD.

Oh yeah, America uses some not so nice words in this but whatevs, I'm sure everyone by now has noticed my fondness for derogatory terms and curse words.

-----

_This isn't so bad._ Germany thought to himself as he walked around New York with America. Canada was supposed to hang out with the blonde today, but he dragged Prussia with him. Prussia then dragged his little brother along at Canada's request so Alfred didn't seem like a third wheel. Germany tried to bring Italy with him but the boy had other obligations that day. _On today of all days…_ Ludwig mused to himself.

Either way, Matthew and Gilbert ditched the two in favor of promiscuous activities behind a Walmart. More like Gilbert made Matthew ditch them in favor of such activities, but then again, the small blonde did have the ability to say no.

"Ever been to the Empire State Building?" America asked feeling awkward.

"Noh… I'fe nod been hier dat much. A few times vhen my boss draggt me to de UN builting bud dat's it."

"Hah, really? So boring!" Germany merely nodded, it was boring. Mostly because it was a meeting of their leaders. Not themselves. Though their meetings together were tedious (and very irritating at times), he preferred them to the ones their bosses had. Always talking about them as if they were objects and not people standing to their shoulder. Was that really how humans thought of their nations?

"Invariably."

"Hah… What?" Ludwig stared at the man, he didn't know that word?

"Your youd ist going to your heat I dink. It means alvays or almosd alvays." America laughed, realizing Germany' words to be true, he should stop hanging out with the younger people of the nation and more with people closer to his age.

_Though it's not like people closer to my age are close at all._ Alfred thought. "I know, I know. It seems the bulk of my teens ain't as bright as they should be. But I do get lucky every now and then!" The blonde poked his German semi-friend with a grin on his face. "I'm also not stupid. The meanings of words just slip every now 'n' again."

"I know…" Germany's stomach growled then, America's face brightened further.

"Hungry? How about a-"

"Noh! Noh, hamburgers." Ludwig held up his hands in front of him in a 'heavens no' gesture. "Ueh, how aboud some of dose sausages?" He motioned vaguely ahead of them. Curious, America lifted an eyebrow and looked around the general area for a 'sausage' vendor.

"Why would y'want breakfast _now_. It's like…" America pulled out his cell phone (decorated with a little American flag charm) and checked the time. "Two in the afternoon. Plus not many places serve… Sausages. Well, I'm sure Italian places do and breakfast houses, but-"

"Noh, noh, noh. Noh Italian foot und I'm nod talking aboud breakvasd foot eider." Ludwig pointed straight ahead of them. "I'm talking aboud _dose_ sausages." Alfred moved to look around the large German and followed the line of his index finger straight to a hotdog vendor.

"Oh… Ya mean y'want a _hot dog_." He chuckled merrily at the German's strange wording.

"Euh… _Ja_. De sausages." Germany felt rather embarrassed as America kept laughing at him, really he didn't understand what was so funny in this situation. In the end, America clapped him on the shoulder before explaining.

"You don't call something a sausage unless you are referring to something similar to… Italian sausage or a breakfast food! Those are just hot dogs! If they are spicier and have a tougher skin, you call them a bratwurst!"

"Bud dey vere originally callt _wienerwursts_. Soh, sausage ist schtill correcd."

"Hey! You're in America! And here they're called hot dogs! 'Kay? Want to learn to speak like an American forget what you know."

"Ahll?"

"Haha! Yep! American English is much different than Iggy's. I'm sure you've noticed! Like er… Cursing! Retarded here, peh, it's nothing and usually pushed aside, you say someone's Retarded in England, they act like they wanna kill you. Twat here is cunt, a fanny is a butt instead of… You know, that other thing. " He paused to chuckle, awkwardly as Germany's face began to turn red. "And referring to music too, popular music spans over rock and all sorts of things there, here, you call rock music pop like they do in England…" Another pause for a hilarious snort. "You end up with your face bashed in. With certain nouns, we say gas to mean most often gasoline, but it can also mean natural gas where they generally say things like petrol. For another example, we say Senior Year for twelfth grade, they say Upper Sixth, a mum is short for a chrysanthemum, not a different word for mom." He shrugged a bit as if that was no big deal. "Regular sayings can be taken differently too. To drag a fag is to take a smoke over there while over here it can be taken as… Well, you can guess. To be pissed here is to be annoyed while there it's to be drunk. 'I don't care' and 'I don't mind' are quite different in some cases, both here can mean 'I'm not annoyed'. But when offered something and you really don't have an opinion upon wanting, like tea or something, it's 'I don't care'. You say that to Iggy when he asks, he'll think that you're saying his tea is trivial and stupid, how you would say it to him is 'I don't mind'. These of course are all generally small things, but my language, while still counted as English, is very, very different from England's. We do have a few differences in syntax, we shorten things… A lot… To ask to come along is 'can I come with'. Spelling is vaguely different, along with punctuation. American English tends to take more loanwords too like schadenfreude, amigo, sayonara or schlep. Just be glad you were talking to me (a hero) and not someone else about this." Ludwig's stomach growled again. "Oh, right! Y'wanted a hot dog, yeah?" Alfred smiled, as if embarrassed to have gone off on such a long tangent about different word usages.

"_Ja_… A hot dog…"

"Well alright then!" Alfred chuckled and tugged the German along after him.

_Americans are so complicated…_ Ludwig thought to himself, a tiny smile lighting his face as Alfred enthusiastically ordered two "hot dogs". Germany snorted.

"_Wienerwurst_."

"Don't make me smack ya now!"

-----

Notes:

Wienerwurst--Original word (as far as I know) for a frankfurter or a hot dog.

Fanny--Woman's genital area (same as twat) but in America it is used to refer to the buttocks.

Drag a Fag--A girl in ceramics I (a class at my high school) from Briton said this, I thought she was going to suck off a gay dude 0.o

Schadenfreude--Taking pleasure in the misery of others (German)

Amigo--Friend (Spanish)

Sayonara--Goodbye (Japanese)

Schlep--An insult of ones intelligence "to be a schlep", can also mean a tedious journey or to drag something along "to schlep along" (Yiddish)

I think Lutz got more than he was expecting when he accidentally said sausage instead of hot dog XDDDD Like stated, this was started because of a short couple of comments exchanged between a friend and I but there are so many more differences between American and British English I can't put it all here. Lawlz.


	11. Tomatoes and Beer

Okay, this is a crack pairing of mine, hey you get to see a glimpse into my f-ed up psyche XD Aaaaanyway, Happy New Years folks! I know this is very late but hah, my psyche is f-ed up remember?

-----

Canada stood in the kitchen, beating eggs, chopping tomatoes, peppers, onions and spinach. His lover was still in bed in the back of the house, occasionally it irritated him that man didn't get up very early, but whatever. Although it was more of a common occurrence to cook for his freeloading best friend in the morning, it was a nice change of pace cooking for the man he loved.

There was a knock at the door then, Matthew grumbled slightly, looking down at the pan full of olive oil that was still heating up. Shrugging, he decided it was alright to leave it unattended. He walked out into the entrance hallway of the southern Italian home and opened the door, quite surprised by the face there.

"Yo, Mattie." Matthew's face deadpanned at the albino grinning at him.

"What do you want, Gil?"

"_Hallo_, it's morning und I vend drough de trouple of finting you. I dink I deserfe _someding_." The larger man's eyes gleamed with excitement causing Matthew to smile.

"Gil, I'm at Lovino's house. What does that mean?"

"You fuckt somevon, I know, I know. Bud de awesome me ist hungry! Also, _Westen_ ist refusing to led me indo de haus dis morning." Matthew ignored the blush coming to his face at his friend's bluntness.

"Well, what did you do?" Prussia, tired of waiting to be invited in, shoved past the petite blonde into the house.

"Don'd ask me."

"Matthew!" Prussia froze and looked to the boy closing the front door now before chuckling.

"Your vife ist up."

"Shut up." Matthew hit Gilbert's arm playfully before heading for the hallway that lead back to the bedroom.

"Yes, Lovino?" He smiled at the man leaning on the wall, buck naked. There was a time long ago that finding his lover standing totally naked in the hall would have embarrassed him and turned his face a bright red. After several visits where _neither_ of them had clothes on though, it was something he had gotten used to. If anything, he thought man's forgetting his clothing in the morning an endearing trait.

"Why is the potato-bastard's brother here?" Romano asked, seemingly very irritated about the whole thing. The other sighed, a bit frustrated and ruffling his hair with a slight smile.

"_Gilbert_ wasn't allowed into Germany's house this morning and he wanted my cooking." Romano pouted and turned his back on the man. "What's the matter?" Matthew asked, sighing and walking up closer behind him.

"Nothing." The Italian grumbled stubbornly as the blonde put his hands up on his shoulders. "Get your hands off me." He grumbled again smacking the caring hands from his shoulders. Romano took a few steps away from him for good measure.

"Oh don't be that way." His lover sighed, his hands following him and slipping down from his shoulders, under his arms and to his chest.

"H-Hey!" Lovino tried to fight against the hands as they pulled him against their owner, but by the time their owner's lips touched his neck most resistance had ceased. "Stoooop." He whined as Canada hugged him tightly against himself.

"I love you." The blonde cooed and kissed the back of Lovino's neck again. "Ignore Gilbert this morning okay?" Canada gently released the man and turned him around to face him, a sweet smile on his bespectacled face.

"Why should I? It's my house." Lovino continued to complain, causing Matthew to give an exasperated sigh. "And he eats your breakfasts nearly every day. This is the one time this month that you've been able to make _me_ breakfast and he has to come and-" The blonde silenced his complaints with a kiss, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close again.

"Please, Love?" Matthew sweetly pleaded with him, touching their foreheads together and nuzzling his nose with his own.

"But-"

"Shhh, shhh. You can have me for as long as you want after he leaves, okay?"

"When will _that_ be?" Romano whined to the blue-violent orbs filling his gaze. Matthew pecked his lips lightly, his serene smile still in place.

"I _guarantee_ you that he will leave once he eats. This isn't my house so he has no reason to stick around and you have no beer."

"You _promise_?"

"Hey, if he doesn't leave of his own accord, I can bribe him."

"Why would you sink to jus-"

"He's Gilbert." The two shared another kiss.

"Eeeew!" They both jumped, Matthew's face turning red once again as he turned around to look at the smirking Prussian. "Please Mattie! I don'd neet to be seeing vhat you do in your schpare time!" Gilbert paused to laugh. "Kesesese. _Do_ in your schpare time. Und you! Pud some pands on!" Gilbert waggled his finger at the naked Italian.

"Make me, you damn bastard!" Lovino yelled, shoving Matthew away from him and advancing on the Prussian. While Lovino appeared completely oblivious, Gilbert noticed the somewhat defeated look upon the Canadian's face, he had hoped to avoid a confrontation this morning. Why were his best friend and his lover both such… Disagreeable people? Gilbert smirked and quirked his eyebrows at the pissed off man in his birthday suit.

"Ef'ryvon jus cahn'd ged enough of me." He advanced too, moving to throw his arms around Romano.

"Gaah! Get off me!" Lovino squirmed against the man, hitting his head and shoving off against his face.

"H-How dare you tread my beaudivul face soh schamevully!" The Prussian shook him and lost his balance, causing them both to fall to the floor into a pile.

"Enough!" The squabbling acquaintances shut up and looked up to the deeply frustrated Canadian. "Gilbert! You are intruding upon a morning I so rarely get to enjoy, eh! But because you are my friend I will let you stay!" Matthew snorted, stepping to the men on the floor and glaring down at them. "And you Lovino! Don't let Gil here get your goat, okay? All he ever is trying to do is make trouble or lighten a mood. Even if he _is_ really annoying while doing it, eh." He punctuated his statement with a direct glare at the albino. Leaning down, he grasped the two by what he could and pulled them to their feet. Occasionally Matthew _did_ exhibit his true strength. "Now…" He said taking a deep breath and putting his arms around the irritated Italian. "We are going to have a **nice**," A glare of "you _will_ behave" was shot in the direction of the keseseseing man. "pleasant breakfast. Understand?" A sweet kiss was placed against Lovino's lips and another (muted) "eeew" escaped Prussia.

"Sometimes, Maddew, I feel ahs if you schoult be a vader." Matthew chuckled at the rather odd compliment and looked back to Lovino for his answer.

"Okay…" He stated plainly.

"Love you, love you, love you!" The enthusiastic blonde punctuated each declaration with a kiss somewhere on the Italian's face.

"Ah! Stoppit!" Lovino tried to squirm away, but was only held harder to Matthew.

"But I _love_ kissing you."

"I agree vid de skinny, pasda-eading idiod." Gilbert snorted, he didn't _need_ to see no happy couple this morning. He came to see his best friend and get some damn breakfast!

"Oh come on Gil, I love you tooo." Matthew unwrapped his arms from the boy and made a feint for the Prussian.

"Nu-uh! You ain'd geddin' your faggy fingers on me!" The albino yelped, backing away. The Canadian only laughed and went back to Lovino, who, once again, looked irritated.

"Okay, to the kitchen." Canada declared, picking up the protesting Italian bridal style and kissing him.

"Yes! Pancakes!" Gilbert, equally happy, announced.

"Omelets." Matthew corrected.

"Vhats?"

"You know, eggs, peppers, onions, tomatoes, spinach. Put 'em all together and fry 'em?"

"Oh… I hevn'd hat von of dose in a long time… _Ja_! Omelets it ist!" Canada stared after his friend as he marched into the kitchen, a great grin upon his face. He chuckled to himself, he had such strange taste in friends.

"Uhm… You… Love, yeah… I, you…" Lovino mumbled against Matthew's chest.

"Hm? What was that?"

"I… Uhm.. Yeah… Love you." Matthew smiled sweetly down to Lovino's blushing face, bringing him up slightly to nuzzle it.

"I know."

"Hey! Lof birts! I'm schtarfing in hier! Hurry it up!"

"Ah, shut up ya Prussian bastard!" Another chuckle escaped Matthew, he had such strange tastes.

"Oh! Und Maddew! De pan ist on fire!" Uh oh...

-----

Notes:

Really there aren't any… Holishit… But, I guess there is sorta one, I believe this could possibly be one of the few romantic fics that is only rated T because of someone's mouth XD (namely Gilbert's) But yeah, Canada/Romano really is a favorite couple of mine and it hurts me that I don't get to write it as much as I would like since officially my favorite couple is PruCan. Usually things end up turning to PruCan before long :I I couldn't even resist putting Gilbo in this one.


	12. Bad Day

_I'm too awesome for this shit._ He unbuttoned the front of his uniform. _"Get a job, eh!" He fucking says! Hah! I don't need a damn job!_ The dark blue coat slips off his frame as he crosses a busy intersection. He doesn't move to pick it up and keeps walking. _Fuck humans._ His hands yank at his black tie and he wrenches it from his neck, throwing it at someone. They yell at him, but he doesn't hear them over his infuriated thoughts. _"I'm sorry, you're not what we're looking for." "Do you have any experience typing? No? Sorry, sir." "Sorry, we can't hire you." Fuck work._ Next his fingers work at his belt. He rips it off with a resounding "snap", scaring a small child nearby The people he passes give him strange stares as he unbuckles his empty gun holster and lets it drop to the sidewalk. _"Would you mind being a night clerk here?"_

"Ja_! Noh problem!"_ Fingers deftly work at the buttons of his black shirt. _"You _can't_ kill people who hold you at gunpoint!"_

"_Vhat de fuck?! It's eider you kill dem or dey kill you! I hat ef'ry righd do kill the basdart!"_

"_No you didn't!"_

"_I cahn do vhatefer I vant! I'm--…"_

"_You're what?"_

"_Noding."_

"_That's right! You're nothing! I can't even arrest you for some God-stupid, fucked up reason!"_

"_Schay dat again!"_

"_You're fired!"_ Someone gasps as he throws his shirt off. It dramatically floats down and lands on a gaping woman's face. At least he knows _some_ people still respect his awesomeness.

"Hey, buddy! You can't jus--" His irritated fingers rise to meet the angry man's forehead and flick him between the eyes.

"Schud de fuck up, _arschloch_." The man falls backwards to the ground, out cold. His legs carry him to the city limits, he lost his boots two blocks ago. _Who needs pants?_ Those were now being worked off as he walked. At least he could say it was warm for once. Soon, he even deserted his socks as he wandered away from the city wearing but a pair of boxers.

It was a wonderfully free feeling, he realized. Just walking around, completely liberated of those oppressive bits of cloth, even his boxers had been lost somewhere along the strip of road he walked next to. People who caught sight of his now butt naked form honked at him. Some rolled down the windows and yelled at him. His only response was flipping them the bird and mumbling something in German. _Fuck humans._

To be completely honest with himself, he hadn't been totally sure in his head where he was going. It didn't seem to hit him until he found himself deep in a wood, but he realized he wasn't lost. His pace quickened as he ran through the trees, jumping over roost and ducking beneath branches. For a moment, he realized he must've looked like a fool, but he so missed this feeling of freedom. Truth be told, he hadn't felt free since the days of his kingdom. Finally his salvation was in sight, taking a deep breath, he shoved off from the muddy embankment and dove into the deep, cold lake. There he let himself float for a few moments, enjoying the feeling of the cool surrounding him in summer. Slowly, he peeked his eyes out above the water and playfully blew bubbles from his nose before letting himself float back and stare up at the sky.

For a long time, he focused upon nothing but the sound of the wind and his breathing, he could hear his heart beat echo within the water. It was soothing in the greatest kind of way, a smile cracked his lips as he felt a fish swim by beneath him and brush his back. A bird chirped somewhere and a frog croaked, as much as he loved the advancements humans had made (perhaps in some ways resented them) he loved this natural feeling. It brought him back to days on the battlefield for an odd reason he didn't seem capable of comprehending. He took a deep breath and sighed, thinking himself old and sentimental.

_You _are_ old and you know why you're so sentimental now… _A smirk spread over his face as he heard his heart quicken its pace through the water. No one in centuries but one had been able to do that, and never at just the mere thought of her. Taking another deep breath, he stared back up at the blue, summer sky.

"Hey there, stranger." A quiet voice called from far off.

"Hm?" Letting his body drop back into the water to tread it, he peered over to the dock ten feet away and felt that smile from earlier tug at his lips. As gracefully as he could manage (surprisingly, this was very) he swam over to the blonde sitting two feet above him on the wood structure. "Yo," He greeted with a grin. "vhat'cha doin' sittin' hier sexy?" Purred the white water monster.

"I heard about work." The blonde said with a sympathetic look.

"Oh." The other dropped his mouth below the surface of the water and mumbled something. His lover quirked an eyebrow and fixed his glasses.

"What's this, eh? The great and mighty Prussia is embarrassed over being fired from a _human_ job?" A growl reached Canada's ears. "Ooo, look at the big scary crocodile." He taunted, standing to unbutton his shirt and take his glasses off. This earned him a curious look from the mostly submerged albino. Grinning broadly, he slipped totally beneath the surface as Matthew turned his back to him.

Keeping quiet, he slunk beneath the dock and peered up through the spaces between the boards at the now naked Canadian. Slightly, he wonder what had come over him, but Gilbert liked Matthew's occasional spontaneity.

"Oh, here I am! A man come to wash his clothes at the lake bank. I sure hope there aren't any crocodiles around."

_Oh!_ It clicked in his silver head. "Kesesese." He hissed. Matthew leaned down off the dock, his fingers a few inches from the water.

"Damn… Didn't know I was short." Gilbert suppressed a chuckle, Matthew probably wasn't expecting what he was going to do, but whatever, he was Prussia and therefore unpredictable…

_Not when it's him apparently._ Grinning again, he seized his opportunity and grabbed the hand, yanking him down off the dock. Thanks to the blonde's position upon the dock however, this action caused him to flip and smack face-first into the water. Gilbert laughed and swam out into the sun onto the boy's other side as Matthew righted himself and came up sputtering.

"That wasn't funny, eh!"

"Oh yes it vas!" Prussia dipped his nose back under the water, leaving his white hair and glimmering red eyes exposed. The crinkle beneath his eyes suggested he was grinning like a madman beneath the murky surface.

"_Gil_…" Matthew swam back a few feet. Gilbert's shoulders shook, bubbles punctuating each shake, he was laughing about something. "Uhh… I'm gonna…" Mistake number one, turning his back on Gilbert Beilschmidt, mistake number two, attempting to flee a predator on the hunt, mistake number three, not expecting him to take advantage of the first. "Eek!" Matthew squealed as he tried to escape the greedy clutches of Gilbert's vice-like hands. He thrashed about, splashing water into the man's face, frustrating Gilbert, but at the same time making him laugh.

"Om, nom, nom, nom!" Gilbert kissed his face repeatedly, nipping at his cheeks and jaw line softly.

"Ah!" Matthew squealed, trying to escape again, this was quickly cut short as Gilbert ended his sweet little nips and kissed him. As they both pressed their lips against each other's, they continued to chuckle. The blonde broke the kiss, nuzzle his face against the albino's.

"Kesesese, ve neet to try dis more ovden."

"Sure, sure." Matthew sighed, contented just to float in Gilbert's arms indefinitely. "Gilbert, wanna know something?"

"Vhat don'd I alreaty know?" He smiled haughtily at his little lover as they continued to float along together.

"Well, guess what I'm going to say then." Gilbert's face scrunched up into one of mock deep thought.

"Hmmm… 'You're awesome'?" A smirk stretched his face as he rubbed Matthew's nose with his own.

"Close, but no cigar." The strawberry-blonde giggled.

"Noh cigar? Who ahm I? Cuba?"

"Watch it." Matthew warned, feeling an insult at his friend coming on.

"Fine, fine. Hm, led's see… Does it schtard vid 'I'?"

"Uh-huuuh."

"Vell, vhat_efer_ coult it be?" Gilbert made a show of considering what piece of information it was Matthew was willing to share with him. "I ahm hungry?" He laughed when Matthew splashed him in the face with a pout on his own.

"Gah, you're so damn facetious all the time." The albino chuckled again, leaning in for a kiss. His face was shoved away however by the small blonde in his arms.

"Alrighd, alrighd. Look hier." Matthew obliged him with a smile. "I lof you." Gilbert punctuated his guess (and statement) with a kiss.

"How did you ever guess?"

"I dunno, I'm jus awesome like dat." Matthew leaned up then, carefully pressing their lips together. It almost seemed to Gilbert that he was _afraid _of him pulling away.

"You sure are." The blonde's hands snaked out of the water as they floated into shallower water and laced into the silver hair. He moaned as Gilbert's tongue shoved pas his and into his mouth. Willingly, he gave in and Gilbert's hands began to roam, gripping his buttocks and kneading them. A finger slipped into his entrance, he gasped and gripped harder at the silver hair, bringing his legs up around Gilbert's waist. "Gilbert…" He moaned and gasped again in his ear as he added another finger. "_Here_?" His face was beginning to turn an embarrassed red. Really, he wasn't sure about this. It may have been his property, but it was still a common place to hike past.

"Vhy nod? Dere's noboty hier und if dere vas, vhat coult dey do? You _ahre_ dis place avder ahll."

"B-But-"

"Shh." Prussia soothed, pushing another finger in and deeper as he kissed him.

"Aah!" Matthew panted, arching his back as he got used to the feeling.

"Damn, you're making me hod." The other had already guessed as much, able to feel the hot erection graze against him a few times. A rather unmanly squeal escaped him as Gilbert opened his fingers within him, stretching him wider. To silence himself, he kissed his lover, sucking on his tongue as it invaded his mouth again.

"Breaking the kiss and squirming his fingers just to hear him, Gilbert was disappointed when Matthew bit his lip to keep quiet.

"Don'd do dat." Gilbert growled against Matthew's neck, another kiss and his fingers slipped out. Matthew groaned at the lost warmth and empty space. "I _vant_ to hear you." A grateful moan rang out over the lake he positioned the blonde over himself and pressed him down onto him, filling the painful emptiness. "Dat's more like it." The other arched against him, gripping his back and digging his nails into the soft flesh.

"_Mon Dieu_."

"Your face ist soh beaudivul." An uncustomary complement, but all the same appreciated. A smirk built over Gilbert's face as Matthew dared open his eyes to look at him. A sharp thrust inward and the blonde's eyes were clamped shut again, his throat releasing a pleasured cry. "Soh fucking hod." Canada smashed their lips together and they were off. Gilbert growled as he gripped the smaller man's hips and just fucked him.

"Damn, Gilbert! Harder!" A high squeal of joy escaped him as the Prussian was all too eager to comply. Moans and grunts echoed over the lake and into the woods. Far off, a couple of campers wondered what the Hell was going on. They both winced as a particularly loud moan mixed with a guttural roar reached their ears.

"Fuck." Prussia sighed, his legs feeling slightly weak as the pleasure of orgasm still washed over him in waves. If he hadn't been holding the boy, Canada would have floated away in his moment of bliss. The blonde twitched and moaned as he somehow managed to bring himself back up against Gilbert's chest to embrace him. A contented sigh escaped him as the albino pressed his lips into the wet hair.

"Well now. I feel sorry fer the fish." Matthew jumped, his eyes going as wide as grapefruits… There, not ten feet away on the bank eating _popcorn_ was America.

"H…. H… How long have you **been** there?!" Canada yelled, utterly infuriated as he shoved off from Prussia.

"Hey, watch it there." Gilbert complained as he looked over his shoulder at the thoroughly entertained American.

"Hm, about th' time you started _begging_ y'boyfriend here t'nail y'harder." Alfred chuckled, munching on his popcorn. Gilbert looked over to Matthew as his face turned a bright, cherry red.

"Hm, hey, American basdart, I'd be runnin' aboud now. Jus some atvice. Dough, I voult jus _lof _to see my liddle Mattie hier bead de lifing shid oudda you." America could feel sweat dripping down his neck as Canada marched out of the water, still not completely flaccid. His jaw dropped open and he openly gaped.

"What the-!! That's not-!"

"Hey, my eyes are up here, eh!" The last thing America saw before he was out was a smirking Canadian and a bright red hockey stick.

"Nice jop Madd…" The Canadian growled and goose-stepped back to the embankment, flinging the stick off behind him and hitting his brother's limp body with it again. "Bat day?"

"Oh, yeah, eh."

"More sex?" Matthew didn't even answer, he just jumped on top of Gilbert and the two started over again.

-----

Notes:

Arschloch--Asshole

Mon Dieu--My God

Gilbert's stripping--Can anybody guess where this idea came from?

No other explaination other than I was bored during school and had a blank notebook where my hands could get to it.


	13. Knot Hole

I wrote this at work a few days ago for Joelpuppy for guessing correctly upon a question posed in the fic Memory: My Canadian Savior. I, however, have not been able to post it until now because of a mixture of exams are coming up and I had to help my friend move out of a friend's house to an apartment. But without further adieu, here it is!

-----

Moans echoed throughout the southern Italian home, still light and sweet, not yet tinted with hard lust. A hearty chuckle flowed through along with a particularly enthusiastic noise from the small of the two participants.

"What's so damn funny?!" Lovino yelled, shoving Antonio away from him.

"You're so cuuuute!" Antonio grinned brightly at him.

"Shut up!" The other snorted and looked away, his face turning red.

"But it's _truuue_!" Spain leaned in and punctuated his statement with a kiss. At Romano's response, he pushed to deepen it, licking the man's lower lip. Once finding that the cavity was open, he quickly filled the empty space should Romano choose to change his mind (which he sometimes did). He gasped as he felt a hand come up and rub him through his pants. "How forward of you my little Lovi." Spain murmured against the Italian's soft lips.

"Shut up, bastard." Lovino muttered right back, undoing the zipper of Antonio's trousers.

"Love you too." He cooed sweetly with quickening breath. It wasn't long after that that they both had their clothes off, grinding errections together, kissing, groping, rolling… Right off the bed. "Oof!"

"Damn it, Antonio!" Lovino growled at the face-down man from the edge of the bed. "Get back up here you bastard!" He angrily pestered, feeling the wood between his legs throb in need.

"Uhm… Euheh… You see… I don't know if it's gonna be that easy." Spain nervously shifted his hips, wincing at the end and ceasing such movement. It just then occurred to Romano that Spain had not made any noise of true pain upon initially contacting the floor and did not appear to be in lasting pain from landing upon his hard manhood…

"What did you _do_?" The one on the bed hissed, moving his fingers to himself should he need to handle his problem personally.

"You won't believe this, but I'm stuck."

"In what?!"

"A knot hole, I think…"

"What?!" Lovino shoved up off the bed and grabbed Spain's hips.

"Wait! What're you doing?!" Antonio asked in a moment of panic. Desperately, he had to push back the urge to squirm as all it would do is cause pain.

"Getting you out!" Romano pulled up on the hips, this elicited a pained yelp and a frantic scream in Spanish. "What?" He asked, releasing the hips back down to where they previously lay (not that he got them far up to begin with).

"S-Splinters… Too big…" Antonio wheezed, waiting for the wood sticking into his wood to stop throbbing.

"Nonsense." Lovino snorted, staring at Antonio's backside appreciatively.

"Ye of little…"

"What was that?"

"N-Nothing…"

"Hmph." Antonio heard the small Italian's footsteps start to recede.

"Wait! Wait! Lovino! Where are you going?!" He shifted himself up onto his elbows and looked around. Lovino was nowhere to be seen! That jerk! Who leaves their boyfriend all alone when he has his damn penis stuck in a knot hole with splinters!? "You can't just leave me here! My dick stuck in some mouse hole! What if--Ah!" He paused and the feeling came again, another moan tore from his throat as something hot and wet dragged itself over the head of his entrapped member. "L-Lovino?" He pounded on the floor with his fist.

"Hah." The Italian snorted with good humor, licking the abused appendage before him again. It really was quite a sight, the ceiling of his cellar growing a penis. Spain pounded on the floor upstairs then. Leaning up from the chair he was standing upon, he pounded back a few times at the Spaniard's muffled question. "Who the fuck'd you think it was?! A rat?!" There was a muffled noise of "I don't know" and Lovino sighed, making sure his breath could be felt by Antonio.

Upstairs, Antonio had his nails dug into the wood of the floor as Romano slowly teased his nearly screaming erection. He huffed, thinking this payback for embarrassing the boy in public recently. A moan escaped him as Lovino's mouth engulfed his head and his tongue swirled around it.

"Oh my…" Another moan as more of him was taken into that warm wetness below him. It had to have been the tightness around his base or not being able to see the boy because Romano made quick work of him. Driving him to orgasm in but a few minutes. In the end, Antonio was left gripping and panting into the hard floor. "Damn." He cursed appreciatively.

Down in the basement, there was quite a different scene.

"Damn you, Spain." Lovino grumbled to himself, wiping some of the sticky goo off his face and out of his hair. He sighed, looking back to the satisfied item dangling from the ceiling. Finding the desired effect had been reached, he smiled triumphantly. Raising his fist, he knocked on the ceiling. "Antonio! Try to pull yourself out now!"

"Huh?! Why?!"

"Just do it!" Making sure to be gentle, he slowly helped work the softened body part from the opening in the floor. Lovino heard a relieved sigh above him once the head made it past the splintered hole. Grunting because Spain thanked him in no way, he stomped up the stairs to the bedroom. "You're welcome." He snorted as Antonio was still inspecting his vital regions with care, touching the slightly red ring around its base. Noticing Lovino finally in the room, he looked up and grinned, jumping to his feet.

"Oh Lovino! I can't thank you enough!" The small Italian found himself swept up into a hug and a passionate kiss. "You saved little me!"

"Little's right." Lovino nearly winced back at the look Spain was giving him. It slightly reminded him of Russia…

"Little you say? Well, I'll have to change that way of thinking." Sparkling smile playing over his face, the Spaniard deposited his lover onto his bed and climbed on top of him. "Where were we before that unfortunate mishap?"

"About here." Romano threw an arm around Antonio's neck and positioned himself just in front of his reinvigorated organ.

"Oh! I remember!" Moans and squeals started up again and filled the house like music. The last thing Lovino remembered thinking that night was that he probably would have to fix **that hole** in the floor. Just not for a few months.

-----

Hey, no language notes needed XD written while working (WWW) The idea of someone getting their dick stuck in a knot hole was given to me by a friend because I was having trouble writing a scene between Germany and Italy in the fanfic Aftermath. She jokingly suggested someone should roll off the bed and I thought this would be perfect for these two (mostly because Germany would never overlook a hole in his floor while Lovino would XD) Soh, ja!


	14. Mother

Okay, first of the stories written during exams. This one specifically was written after my Comparative religion exam.

-----

So rarely did questions like this come to him. They still came, though few and far between. He wanted to stop, they made his already depressive state all the worse and made him question things about himself and his brother. What he _felt_ was that they were brothers of course, Alfred and he. But the question was always brought forth that they were initially apart, never having met until Arthur introduced them, if they were brothers; why were they so far apart in birth (both in distance and age)? Who were their parents? Were they really _not_ brothers? If not, why did they look so similar? The only logical reason was that they _were_ brothers, but that still made him wonder.

"I'm hungry." Kumajirou nudged the man laying in bed. He had yet to move and seemed very depressed in particular. It was starting to concern the bear to be honest. Matthew didn't reply and continued to stare listlessly into space. "America?" The white bear nudged Canada's arm again.

"I'm Canada." Matthew sighed, still caught in his thoughts. It was obvious that Francis and Arthur weren't _really_ the brothers' parents… But they _needed_ parents to be born, right? Or did they just pop out of the ground like mushrooms? No, that couldn't have been right. His fingers slipped down his stomach to his navel, their tips circled it as a vulture would a rotting carcass. This single aspect of his body, did it not mean that he was born as humans were? At one point he'd had a mother, a real one. Possibly even a _human_ one. Did _that_ mean that _he_ had been human once? Long before he could remember? Tears pricked at his eyes as he thought about what she could have looked like. And his father? Whose eyes did he have? Alfred's were blue while his were more of a purply color, who contributed what to the way their sons looked? He shut his eyes as a small sob escaped him. He hated when he thought of these things.

Hated them.

"Oh Maddie!"

"Not now Gilbert." Matthew mumbled into the pillows as Kumajirou hopped off the bed and trundled over to Prussia. The enthusiastic man looked down to the bear as he tugged on the hem of his pants.

"He won't get up to feed me…" Kumajirou stated plainly.

"Und vhy nod?" Gilbert said, looking over to the man crying into his pillow. "Vhat de hell hes you soh upsed _now_?"

"Go away Gil." The albino snorted.

"Vhy schoult I?"

"Because this is my house and I want to be left alone." Gilbert blinked, he _wanted_ to be alone? Never, not Matthew who was _always _alone when he wasn't there. Something really _was _bothering him and though he was loathe to be emotional, it was Matthew.

"Alrighd, vhat's de madder?"

"I said go away, eh."

"You're opfiously in a bat moot und I demant to know vhat happent."

"Nothing, Gil, just go away." Okay this was irritating, Prussia strode the rest of the way over to the bed and sat on the edge. Matthew just curled up tighter and turned over so his back was to Gilbert. "Get off my bed please."

"Vhy do you vant to be alone? Lasd I checkt you like dat aboud as much ahs I do."

"Don't you love being alone?" Matthew said bitterly.

"Vid you I do."

"Go away Gil, please. I'm not in the mood today."

"Den I'll jus hev to schtick arount undil you ahre." The Prussian leaned back, leaning on Canada's hip. "C'mon. I don'd like it vhen you acd like dis. Tell me vhat's wrong."

"You'll laugh."

"Noh I von'd."

"You always say that and then when I tell you, you laugh."

"I don'd laugh aht you, I jus dink it's funny to be dinking aboud it." Matthew sighed.

"I was thinking about my mother."

"Arthur?"

"No, my actual one that I never knew."

"Ve don'd hev _actual_ mutters und faters… You schoult know dat by now. Possiply de only vons who actually cahn say dat dey do ahre Greece und Egypt. Because dere mutters acdually gave _bird_ to dem." Prussia explained as if it were a fact of life. For them, it was, but it didn't seem natural that Prussia so easily admitted he had no parents.

"Where do we come from then?"

"I cahn'd say."

"Do we just spontaneously appear?"

"I alreaty sait I ditn'd know."

"But if we do…" He felt his stomach for his navel again and imagined a hospital. An exhausted woman in a bed, smiling as a doctor tied off two crying blondes' umbilical cords. Though he realized that never could have been, given his age (and the difference between his and Alfred's ages), it was a sweet dream.

"If ve do spontaneously appear?" Prussia questioned as Matthew trailed off into his day-dreams.

"Why do we have this?" The other replied to seemingly no one in particular.

"Vhy do ve hev vhat?" Matthew flipped over slowly and took Prussia's hand, lifting the hem of his field blouse and laying it over his stomach. "Vhy do ve hev a gud?"

"No, what is on your stomach?"

"Vell, my hant ist." The blonde snorted.

"What is _under_ your hand though?" Gilbert blinked and lifted his hand, staring down at his stomach.

"Vhy do ve hev a nafel?" He sucked on his tongue as Matthew nodded minutely, letting his hand slip from Gilberts to the bed. "I don'd know dat eider." It seemed so insignificant to him. It was his belly-button, that was all; a semi-hole at his waist. "Fuck, now you hev _me_ vontering."

"What do you think your and Ludwig's mother was like?" Matthew absently asked, swirling a finger in patterns over the back of Gilbert's hand.

"Noh itea, provably qvide a looker dough if she hat me. _Westen_ doesn'd look too bat eider, of course."

"I wish I could have met her… If she existed still. Or if she existed at all I guess I should say."

"Vell, noh use mooning avder it. If our mutters… If ve hat dem vonce, if dey vere human, de're long deat now."

"Yeah… I guess…"

"Schtill, sche musd'fe been von hod bitch."

"How can you talk about your mother that way?"

"Who sait I vas talking about mine?" Gilbert smirked down at Matthew then, his eyes mischievously glistening. Quickly, Matthew's face filled with heat as he rolled over onto his side again to hide it. A lecherous hand crawled up to rest on his hip before slipping down and pinching his butt.

"Hey!" The Canadian shot up to find himself caught in a kiss. It was calm and warm, speaking of no burning lust, it was a kiss to calm the mind. For that, Matthew was grateful, he wasn't sure if he could pay attention all the way if Gilbert tried to start something. Suddenly the blonde chuckled as Gilbert put his arms around him softly.

"Vhat's funny?"

"What would my mother think about me?" Matthew allowed himself to slip down and let his head rest on Gilbert's chest.

"Sche voult provably be damn prout."

"Really?" He blinked and looked innocently up at him.

"Do I lie to you?"

"Sometimes."

"Efer jus to make you feel bedder?"

"No."

"Vell, dere you goh." He laughed and nuzzled his face into the fabric of Gilbert's uniform. Ever so slightly, he wondered why he was wearing it today, but it suited him well so it didn't really matter.

"I'm confused why she would be. Nobody really remembers me past you and a few others, that's out of 240 plus people. 191 of these people are people that _should_ remember me too, not talking about all the humans. Being gay for some reason is a fear mothers have. I'm technically in love with someone who is dead, so apparently I am a necro-" Gilbert put his hand over Matthew's mouth. "Oof, mmf srffy." Matthew's reply was greatly muffled by the gloved hand.

"Sche voult be pourt because do you really _care_ dat you ahre gay?" The blonde shook his head. "Do you lof me?" He nodded. "Und ahre you sctill alife deschpide de facd dat nohvon remempers you?" Matthew nodded again. "Do you make _de _mosd awesome pancakes in de vorlt und de most epic maple syrup?" Matthew's shrugged. "De answer to dat vas 'yes'." He chuckled under Gilbert's hand. "Und ahre you a nation to begin vid?" The other shoved Gilbert's hand from his mouth.

"I get it, Gilbert." he said chuckling and leaning aginst him again.

"Und if sche voultn'd be prout of you, I ahm." Gilbert grinned down at him. "Since I ahm awesome, I dink dat counds you ahs awesome too."

"Awesome by association?" Matthew quirked an eyebrow.

"D'uh." They shared another warm kiss and Gilbert rested back on the headboard of the bed. "Hey… Dit you fall asleep?" Lightly, he poked the Canadian's head. "Ve hev a meeding… Ged up." Another poke and the sleeping boy batted the hand away. "Noh, I von'd gif you fife more minudes, ged up! I'm nod your mutter!"

-----

Notes:

240 +--A rough estimate of countries in the world, loosely defined.

191--The number of countries in the UN minus Canada, so 192.

I need to stop thinking about serious things when writing Hetalia fan fiction. But seriously! I wonder! Really I do, with Greece and Egypt it's clear they have real parents since their predecessors were female, but what about the Italy brothers? They had a grandpa and that's all that's mentioned. The same for Prussia and Germany. Oooo, I am in your brain making you think unnecessary things!


	15. In Love

_Edit: Extended!_

Hm, writing while on valume and vicodin, I've been bedridden for about… Three days due to an injury to my back cleaning said three days ago. Cleaning, I know, one of my great loves finally took me out. --rolls eyes-- Anyvey, dis schall be fun.

-----

A moan escapes his gently smiling and parted lips.

Fingers flit down his chest and stomach, savoring every last rise and fall of his landscape, settling in the warm area between his thighs.

He sighs, knowing what is soon to come. A somewhat needy sound escapes him and he presses himself playfully to the hand. There is a smile blooming across his handsome features.

The other fondles him with a loving touch, smiling down at the vast expanse of pallid flesh with eyes that see, but all the same do not. The skin is scarred, but he does not care, it is who he is, each carries a small piece of his life. Each of these pieces as equally precious as the last, making up this wholly precious and beautiful man before him.

"_Ich liebe dich_." He moans again, staring deeply into the red orbs above him. And he is not lying, never would he lie to him, never _could_ he lie to him. They know each other as well as they know themselves, they _are_ each other.

"_Ja, du liebst mich_…" The albino replies with a growing smirk, his ministrations growing more intense. His breathing becomes heavier and frantic; he wants more, _needs_ more.

"_Mehr, bitte_." Is the plead that slips through his lips to the face above him. The face's lips curve into a smirk.

"_Ja_, _ja_." A haughty chuckle and a gasp escapes him, the hand roughly pumping him. His body twitches and he writhes in pleasure, their eyes never leaving each other's. "Ah, ah! Ah!" Fingers dig into the edges of glass and work hot, engorged flesh.

"_Mehr_!" He commands, another loud gasp erupting forth as his back arches upwards into the gracious hand. Somehow a laugh stretches their jaws and fills their lungs as things get harder to bare. "_Mehr,mehr,mehr_! _Ich brauche mehr_!" Orgasm comes and fills the space between them, dirtying the albino's abdomen and spattering the face above him. A contented smile spreads over both their faces as the aftershocks fade. Prussia brings the face down to him and presses his lips against the glassy reflective (and now sort of sticky) surface. His loving tongue snakes out and he meticulously begins to clean the surface of his affections. Blood from his fingers and semen from their consummation become one in a strange cocktail upon his tongue. Whoever said Prussia couldn't be faithful?

Sure he had had sex before, but he loved only one. How was his love for this single most important person any different than his brother's love for the small Italian man? He smiles and finishes cleaning his beloved's tarnished face.

"_Ich bin so verliebt…_" Prussia runs his sticky fingers through his hair, sighing happily. Then he laughs as he kisses his image again. "_Ich bin in mich verliebt_."

-----

Notes:

Ich liebe dich--I love you. (lolz if you don't know this from my many uses by now where have you been XD)

Ja, du liebst mich--Yes, you love me...

Mehr, bitte--More, please.

Mehr, mehr…--More, more, more! I need more!

Ich bin so verliebt--I am so in love…

Ich bin in mich verliebt--I am in love with myself.

Sorry all the dialog is in German, I really am, but I just feel in this situation he wouldn't be speaking English. Usually I am a prucan person (oh how could one ever tell?) but I find Prussia's narcissism and huge attitude hard to get around at times. I feel that this really could be why he avoided marriage in his earlier years. He's in love with himself and only himself.

The medicine is really getting to me, I'll probably go back and read this later when I'm in my right mind and make corrections as well as extend it. As always if mistakes are noticed I encourage people to point them out as I do not naturally speak the language. So, uhm, ja, I'm out (quite literally).

_Edit_: To avoid confusion (as there has been some) I feel it necessary to explain that Prussia is masturbating while looking into a hand-held mirror to watch and speak with himself.


	16. Hopefully, Just A Dream

Oh, the grooves in the ceiling, how uniform and yet unique they all seemed. Tiny little mountains in little circles all over the surface above him. And the sheets! So crisp they felt beneath his skin, clean, unused, not yet experienced in the job of protecting the mattress from lascivious and rough activities. He _had_ planned to break them in just this night, but his lover was nowhere to be seen. Nowhere to be seen for it was seven in the afternoon in his own homeland and a meeting with his boss was in session.

Fervently he wished to be anywhere but here, it was achingly painful to be all alone in this place. This place _was_ his home, was him, but he hated it. Terrifying memories abounds and so vivid the copious scars upon his body burned and his back ached as if he had been impaled vertically.

It wouldn't even have to be his lover to keep him company really, he just hated being alone here. It could be Feliciano, his brother, Antonio, Francis, Roderich even! Anyone… No, wait, not just anyone, _that_ bastard was never allowed to come near him while in this land.

Taking a deep breath, he sighed into the comfortable darkness, dispelling his distress. It was a long time ago, things were different. His hand traveled lazily to his inner thigh and he gave himself an assessing stroke, then another, and another. He groaned, not in pleasure, but frustration.

"_Mir ist langweilig…_" And so bored, that he truly had no interest in even masturbating, sleeping sounded even more boring than that… But what was there else to do at night when sleeping, having sex and playing with yourself were all things you couldn't do?

Watch television maybe? Nah, that would eventually lead to sleeping… Groaning with more frustration than before, he sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and standing. He strode over to the window and drew the curtains, looking out at the streets of the eastern sector of Berlin. So what if he was naked, he didn't care if anyone saw his awesomeness. In fact, he was pretty sure people would _want_ to see him and his wonderful five meters. Though, _Herr Fünf Meter _was than five at the moment as he was just as bored as Gilbert.

"_Warum_?!" He glared down at the flaccid organ that had no answer for him. And really, if it did, he would have been quite freaked out. Gilbert rubbed his temples and walked away from the window, heading for his bedroom door. "_Gilvogel, wo bist du_?" He called for his fluffy yellow bird, into the hallway, there was a quiet cheeping noise from somewhere down the hall in the kitchen. "Fatty." He grumbled absently, walking down the hall into the kitchen. "Ist dis vhat you _do_ ad nighd?" The Prussian asked the bird as it seemed happy to continue pecking away at a loaf of bread he had left sitting out.

"Peep!" Gilbird replied merrily hopping up and down on the counter.

"Kese, maype I neet to ged you a chick, _freund_." An albino finger tickled the little bird beneath its chin. "How voult you like dat? A liddle chicky zo you cahn be like me und ged lait ef'ry nighd!" The yellow bird gave him a look Gilbert could only describe as being wry. "Okay, _almosd_ ef'ry nighd." Sighing, he tore off a piece of the bread and nibbled on it himself, patting the bird on its head as he stared up at the ceiling again. "You know, I voult rader enjoy being a grantfater I dink…" His head quirked to the side as the surface beneath his hand seemed larger than the small bird he had been petting a moment ago… It was shaking and he was pretty sure he felt hair, not the soft down of an immature bird… Looking down in that moment he stared into the violet eyes of blonde _naked_ fifteen-year-old boy. The boy was shaking beneath his hand as the two merely sat there for a moment staring… The boy opened his mouth to say something, but was quickly cut off by Prussia.

"_Was zum Teufel_?!" The albino wheeled back, flinging his nude self against the refrigerator door as the naked child on the counter yelped in surprise and hopped behind the island. "_W-W-Was_?! _L-Lettland_?!" He shook his head for a minute to get it back into proper working order. "Latfia?!"

"M-M-Mr. Prussia?! Sir?" Raivis poked his head apprehensively out from behind the island as Gilbert continued to stand and stare at him. Where was Gilbird?! Where the fuck did Latvia come from?! Why was he naked?!

Pointing an accusing and waving finger at the boy, Gilbert began to yell, "Vhat de fuck ahre you doink in my haus?! Naket noh less?! Who do you dink I ahm?! France?!" As if like a rabbit advanced upon by a hungry dog, the small nation bolted for the door as if he already knew the lay of the house. "Oh, noh! You ahre nod gedding avay from me!" Gilbert gave chase, anger and finally relieved boredom fueling his legs as the ancient nation pursued the tiny, under-aged boy.

_Under-aged boy?_ "I'fe become France!!!" Prussia screamed in horror as he continued to chase after Latvia, both in their birthday suits. "Gotcha!" Gilbert triumphantly crowed upon grasping the shaky and frightened youth's arm.

"Rape!" Raivis instinctually screamed at the top of his lungs as Gilbert pulled him against his chest and off the ground, slapping a hand over his mouth. He squirmed profusely, tears beginning to stream down his face, as Gilbert hissed for him to shut up. Thank God Prussia lived on a back-road and it was two A.M.

Scurrying quickly back to his house, he hoped no one had seen what had just happened. That was _all_ he needed, to be called a child-molester.

"Gil?" He heard a small, wonderful voice behind him.

_Oh, fuck!_ The bolting Prussian stopped dead in his tracks, nearly tripping and falling flat on top of the Latvian boy's back. "Uhh… Maddhew!" A nervous chuckle escaped him as he looked back nervously over his shoulders.

"Why are you naked?" Canada asked, obviously having not yet assessed Prussia was holding someone.

"Vell, you zee--"

"Is that a _child_ you're carrying?!"

"Shh! I cahn--"

"Is he naked too?!"

"Maddhew keep your foice down!"

"Ugh! Gilbert, you're disgusting!" The blonde turned to leave, tears in his bespectacled eyes.

"Maddhew, vaid!" Swiftly shifting his eyes back and forth between the two blondes, Gilbert smacked Latvia upon the head. "You do nod mof!" He deposited the boy and darted after the object of his affections. Upon smashing into him, they sprawled out for all to see on the cement.

"Prussia… Get off me."

"Don'd call me Prussia, makes me dink you ahre mat aht me."

"I am! I just saw you molesting an innocent _child_!"

"It vas Latfia!"

"Does that… Well I guess it kinda _does _make it better, but still! You're cheating on me!" A swift wallop to the head and Canada was out…

"Oh shid…." Gilbert poked the boy's head for a second and assessed that, yes, he was indeed out like a light. Sighing and standing up, throwing Matthew over his shoulder as he did. He decided he enjoyed being bored to crazy-ass nights like this. "_Fick_."

"Gilbirt?" Prussia stared down as the small bird passed out in the middle of the road where he had left Latvia. "Okay, for my own sanidy, I'm going to zay dis vas all a tream und I ahm going to bett." he mumbled to himself and picked up the chick in his free hand before heading back for his rowhouse. "A passt oud birt und a passt oud lofer, oi." Hopefully Canada would just believe him in the morning that all this was just a **horrible**_,__** cracked-out**_ nightmare.

-----

Notes:

Mir ist langweilig--I am bored…

Herr Fünf Meter--Mr. Five Meters

Warum--Why?!

Gilvogel, wo bist du--Gilbird, where are you? (Note: Gilbird is the pet of a Germanic man, it can be assumed that he would actually call the bird by a German name when he does not feel like speaking in English for the sake of a pun.)

Was zum Teufel--What the fuck?!

W-W-Was…--W-W-What?! L-Latvia?!

Okay, this is… Weird, ja, I know… This actually comes from something I read upon Gilbird's Wiki article, it is mentioned that it is possible that Gilbird is actually Raivis because of a picture on his blog. It is suggested that petting Gilbird upon the head turns him into Raivis and doing the same with Raivis will turn him back into Gilbird. XD I thought it was funny so therefore you have this poorly slapped together piece o' shit.


	17. Games

This has been written for literally months and I have just been too lazy to type it. My fuckin' vacation has lasted too long and I've become even lazier. Lol, my friend and I have been working on some stuff recently (hers of the sketching type) and I thought that I should do fan fictions to go with the pictures. But lol, this needed to be posted first before those so yeah.

-----

Carefully he crouched in some mid-rise brush, it was hot today and, surprisingly, the shade of the canopy above did little to alleviate this fact. This had started out as a simple training exercise, but had grown into something more. Italy could afford to be serious in this. It was rare Germany played "games" with him and really, he wished to encourage these whimsicalities within the man. Even if they sometimes left the most unsightly of marks on his body (and even scared him on some occasions). He heard a light footfall to his right and dared a look to see the tall German about twenty feet from him, looking in the opposing direction.

Rubbing his bruising wrist (with a ripped sleeve) he shifted quietly onto his knees and eventually gathered his feet beneath him No one was better at running than him, but a "_playful_" Germany chasing him might actually cause him to bail out of their game and it would take him forever to convince Ludwig that his "games" were alright (just scary). He loved him anyway. Taking a deep breath, he sprung from his hiding place right as Germany turned to take in the other half of his surroundings. Not even stopping at the frustrated growl from Germany, he bolted through the woods. If anything, Germany's overall aggressiveness in his games scared him more than England, but the results were _always_ pleasurable. The footfalls of the German as he crashed through the undergrowth like an enraged bear grew closer and Italy felt another wave of adrenaline pulse through his veins as he changed directions suddenly.

Germany roared with frustration and nearly slammed into a tree as he attempted Italy's difficult (for him anyway) directional change. The tree shook, unseating a squirrel high up in the branches. Germany looked down at the rodent clinging to his shirt for dear life and ripped it off, careful not kill the poor thing. He sucked in a deep breath and shoved off from the tree, giving chase again.

Perhaps Italy was too good at this game of cat and mouse he was so fond of, but in the end he would always win. Well, accept for when Italy chickened out and started pleading to let him go with _actual _tears. But considering the game again, failure against Italy in something like this was something that didn't exist. These times he "played" with Italy were the only times he could understand his brother's lust for violence, but rarely was Germany's "lust" for violence. Most of the time it was just lust for the tasty Italian he was managing to close in on. He had been searching for the man like a wolf in winter would search for a rabbit for the last twenty minutes, he wasn't letting him slip through his fingers in their first encounter (though most of the time it took him two tries).

"_Scheisse_!" he yelled as Italy dashed right past him. By the time Germany had managed to stop and turn around, the Italian was gone. A growl started in his chest and built into another roar as he went back to his previous task of locating Italy. He kicked a rock into the bushes, knocking into a rabbit and he watched angrily as it ran away.

Italy panted for breath as he hid in the upper branches of a tree, he wasn't sure whether or not he'd be up for the main event after this. Germany always seemed a boundless pot of energy after these games of his. Their first time play (though it hadn't even bee known to Italy that Germany had actually tricked him into playing) had gone much the same. Though it had been more sincere and Italy had managed to go three rounds of being found and running before Ludwig had caught him. Ludwig had managed to match that three afterwards…

Lost in his thoughts and the noise of his own breathing, he didn't notice Germany's footsteps beneath him until he was directly beneath his hiding place. Getting a good idea, Italy smiled, inching himself so he was barely balanced upon the branch in which he sat. Germany _did_ like surprising maneuvers after all. The smile widening to a cheery grin, he shoved off from the tree branch, the sudden movement catching Germany's attention.

"Italy?!" Thinking fast, Germany caught the laughing Italian and the two rolled on the forest floor for a moment. Eventually, Italy remembered he was supposed to be fleeing and attempted to break away from Ludwig only to have his ankle caught as he tried to stand. "Ahn indereschtink itea Feliciano, bud nod goot enough fur me!" he growled in his undisguised accent. The look on his face had Feliciano sincerely screaming for help and his lover to let go, it was not heeded of course.

Climbing on top of him and straddling him, Germany reached beneath him and worked his hands until he heard the clink of a belt, making Italy thrash even more. A menacing and low chuckle escaped Ludwig as he yanked Italy's pants back to reveal his pleasantly firm ass. After the clink of Ludwig's belt all of Feliciano's thrashing and resisting ceased, he shook his butt slightly at the ready German. It would hurt quite a bit, but Ludwig was always gentle at first.

Ludwig caught the little smirk on the round face and pleasantly chuckled, working himself free of his pants before positioning himself.

"Luddi wins!" Feliciano declared happily. _And he always will._

_-----_

Notes:

Wow, none, everyone should know the one German word used in this by now as I am quite fond of it.

Hmm... I have no other comments about this one as I hate the ending but I wish to leave some of what I write up to your imaginations since there are just some things one can imagine that cannot be put into words. Oh, I do know something to say, the story was inspired by a song by my favorite band, the song is called Waidmann's Heil, look up the lyrics if you so wish, but you'll need to translate them from German.


	18. The Plan Part I

This was started by a drawing (which has since become… Five [with different people]) and the Prussia, Germany portion of them will be a self-contained incident although there will be a fan fiction to go with each of my favorite drawings my friend pours out XD

-----

He awoke to chuckling and wind. The chuckle was more of a "kesese" noise though. The first meant he was probably going to have to clean something up; the second signified that he wasn't home. Berlin was noisy, like any city and did not sound of a cold winter wind. The next thing he noticed was the throbbing in the side of his head.

_What in God's name happened?_ He thought to himself as he groaned and shifted uncomfortably upon whatever he was laying upon. _What the…?_ Was he not wearing underwear?! Whoa! Wait! Wait! Wait! It was all coming back to him! And as his mind slowly formulated what must've happened, he began to relive his last remembered moments of consciousness. Searching for something, _anything_ that would prove his poor, hung-over brain false.

"_Ahre you schure dat Canata ist alrighd vid dis?" Germany had asked his brother, sitting down on the couch in the television room._

"_De guy lofs me, I'm schure he ist fine vid it." Gilbert chuckled confidently, already on his fifth beer._

"_You cahn only pusch a nation zoh fahr in lof bruder. Efen _he_ ist bount to break zometime, I hope you realize dis." Germany opened his beer with a finger and sipped at it._

"_Oh, pfft! How coult he efer fall oud of lof vid de awezome me?" Prussia laughed, pounding Ludwig's back heartily. Love sparkled brightly in the albino's eyes and it was easy to see Gilbert was far from bored with the little, blonde Canadian._

"_De zame vay Elizaveta fell oud of lof vid you." Ludwig had known better than to mention Hungary, but Gilbert needed to learn to stop taking Ma… What was his name again? Anyway, he needed to stop taking the love lavished upon him for granted._

"Sie_ vasn't ahz awesome ahz Madd." Gilbert reflected, trying to stop the wave of misery attempting to wash over him._

"_You schtill lof her, don'd you?" The blonde really didn't have to ask, he knew the answer was yes. He heard a grumble from the silverette and leaned in next to him, "Vhat?"_

"Ich war jung und dumm._" Gilbert repeated absently._

"_Schtill ahre den zince you do."_

"Nein, ich liebe sie nicht._" Ludwig snorted, not believing what his brother spoke. It was a lie, but only because Gilbert loved Elizaveta as "the one who got away". The love he shared with Canada was far more meaningful than anything Prussia could ever hope to find with a woman. After all, Prussia was first and foremost a lover of himself, but he could never actually do himself, the closest thing he had was another man. It just so happened that the personality of the man was what he fell in love with first._

"_You do schtill, jus' nod in de vay you lof Canata."_

"_I don'd lof her periot!" Germany felt a sharp strike to his temple and he was taken by darkness._

_That explains my head. Not the booze._ He still was not sure about his nakedness though or if not naked, why his boxers were missing. Again he shifted, at least he was wearing a shirt. Slowly, his eyes opened to a white, stomp ceiling, definitely not home. His ceilings were all covered in various stains Gilbert had somehow or another managed to stick up there. The "kesese" chuckling of his brother became noticeable again as something sparkled just out of the corner of his eye.

"Vhat de…" Germany shot up on the bed that was not his, surveying that he was _not_ naked below the waist _or_ wearing a shirt. What sparkled back at him, was about a thousand times more perverse! "_Preußen_!" He roared, jumping up from the bed and catching his reflection in the mirror. It was a horror! It was lipstick! It was mascara! It was **sparkles**! And a sequined cocktail dress! Pink and frilly with a flower ruffle at the waist! Another roar that would surely bring death upon all who heard it ripped from Germany's throat as a white, feather boa about his shoulders was torn in two. He would have ripped the feathered hair piece stuck in his gelled locks, but he was too focused on not collapsing due to the high heels his feet had been jammed into. Whipping his head over to his sniggering brother in the doorway of the room he yelled, "_Warum_?!"

"Vell, you mate me feel bat und dis mate me feel bedder." A loud noise that would have made a dragon cower in fear issued from the blonde as he flipped his feet up and yanked the heels off. Prussia ducked and rolled for dear life as the stilettos came flying from the room, embedding themselves in the hall wall. "Hey! Canata ist going to blame **me** fur dat!"

"Id **ist** your fauld!" Ludwig stormed from the room after him, death a very clear intention.

Self-preservation kicking in, Prussia jumped to his feet and all out bolted down the upstairs hallway to the stairs.

"I'll fuckink ged you fur dis! You und your liddle birt too!" Veins popped from his neck and spit flew as he picked up the sparkling pink and silver cocktail dress and gave chase. All his numerous games with Italy would finally pay off.

Gilbert suddenly stopped at the edge of the stairs and rushed at the drag queen. "M'laty goes firsd!" he playfully growled, grabbing Ludwig's arm and quickly turning to elbow him in the stomach before flipping him over his shoulder to the floor.

The German hit the floor with a hard "oof", coughing as Gilbert had more closer elbowed his chest and the after flip had further knocked the wind from him.

"Mmn, _bruderlein._"Germany did not like the tone of that voice… Was it a bit drafty in Canada's house? "You appear to be packing a magnum down dere."

"_Was_?!" Ludwig looked over his shoulder at his older brother, he was leering down at his considerably hiked up and revealing dress. A blush flooding his face, he flew up from the floor and flung the dress skirt down to cover himself, rounding on Prussia at the same time. "You took my untervear!?

"Finters keepers." Prussia purred in a sing-songy way, pulling the beer mug-print boxers from his pocket. Now, once again, Gilbert felt the need for self-preservation and bolted past him down the stairs, flinging the in-hand clothing article in his face.

"Ill ged you vhen you leasd expecd id you liddle cowart!" Germany gripped his boxers fiercely, curling in on himself in rage. _Mark my words, bastard!_ And suddenly, a plan came to mind. A delicious plan he could not pass up. Sure it was formulated within the most depraved depths of his soul. A part of him he thought he had locked away a long time ago, but here it was speaking into his ear. He was Germany was he not? Such plans could not be ignored by such a great nation as he! Italy wouldn't even have to know and Prussia would never tell Matthew… Yes, yes he could see it all now, it was just perfect.

A laugh he had not known for over sixty years built up in his throat and his eyes turned hard. Oh, this was going to be fun.

To Be Continued…

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Notes:

Ich war jung und dumm--I was young and stupid.

Nein, ich liebe sie nicht--No, I do not love her.

Bruderlein--Basically "little brother" it's just the word for brother with a diminutive added at the end.

Okay, credit getting dealt out here for two things: Germany in a dress, the idea was pitched to a friend of mine who wanted to draw but was tired of drawing women so I said to draw a man and she was like "I don't like drawing men" So I said "Draw a man in a dress then." We then decided that it must be Germany and this picture will be posted upon Deviantart as soon as possible and once it has been posted a link will be noted here. The second, is to my good friend JanesRedBottle for the "finders keepers" thing X3 ily! There is a second part to this as my other friend decided it necessary for it to have a sequel by drawing another piece of a different German in a slutty outfit. So yeah, that will be posted as soon as I finish it and she posts the picture.

WWW yet again, no my job is not that boring but when it's a fiddler group and you're running lights from the wings of the stage, what is one to do?

FIND OUT PRUSSIA'S FATE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! OR MAYBE IN THE ONE AFTER IT! Just look for "The Plan Part II" to save some confusion just in case XDDD


	19. Happy Birthday

Realizing I couldn't finish the chapter for Throwback in time for Canada Day, here's something a bit different than what' I'm used to :B SO! Happy Canada Day all!

HEAVILY RATED R!

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Reading over his card again, Matthew smiled to himself, his lovers were so sweet sometimes. They also had a bad habit of keeping certain things from him, such as surprise birthday gifts. Now, it's possible for your to be thinking "lovers? What?". Well, that whole mess will be cleared up in time.

_Come to our house today at six our time, we have a special surprise for you._

_Happy Birthday ~Gilbert & Ludwig_

Matthew hummed to himself, these two could be _very_ sneaky when plotting with each other. It could possibly be what the two had been talking about yesterday. They had only been speaking in German to one another yesterday and it had been impossible to tell what the topic had been considering Canada only ever knew about five words in an entire conversation.

Well, whatever it was, he was about to find out. He stood at their doorstep and raised his hand to knock before noticing the small sign written in Ludwig's handwriting. "_Matthew, we might still be busy, come in._" Blinking and tipping his head to the side he mumbled "Okay." to himself and turned the knob.

Walking in, he really didn't know what he was in for. At first, he saw no one around, but when the door closed behind him without him doing so, he jumped. As soon as he rounded, he found his face smacking right into Ludwig. A very… Naked Ludwig…

"Oh, hello, Honey." Ludwig just stared at him, setting him on edge. Originally, the relationship was just himself and Gilbert, Ludwig had asked to be included about two years ago. At first, Matthew hadn't been sure upon whether or not a polyamourous relationship was a good idea. But after some goading from Gilbert, Matthew agreed and thus the three of them had been how they were. It had been hard to get used to, having to pay attention to both of them instead of just Gilbert and a few times Ludwig had gotten mad at the both of them, but it sorted itself out into the situation they had now.

"Clodes, off." Ludwig grunted, making Matthew's hair stand on end. It was one of the odder things about Ludwig indeed, he preferred to keep words to a minimum as he believed they got in the way during sex. He was also a good deal more intimidating than his brother and he sometimes just froze up when with him. At Matthew's not moving Ludwig's hard face softened and he said again, "Please, take off your clodes."

Coughing into his hand Matthew made quick work of them, leaving them in a pile on the floor. Noticing the twitch in Ludwig's eyebrow he quickly tried to pick them up but was smacked in the side before doing so. Jumping he looked back at Ludwig and saw him making the "turn around" motion with his finger… Oh dear… The blonde must've been in one of his _moods_.

Knowing he really had nothing to be so embarrassed about, Matthew turned around and bent over to pick up and fold his clothes. Upon trying to stand up to fold his clothes, Ludwig laid a now leather-clad hand on his back and kept him from standing. This of course made folding difficult, but he wasn't about to irritate Ludwig by not listening. As he folded the clothes from his more interesting angle, he felt the hand on his back slip down to his butt, squeezing and kneading his cheeks.

Matthew's face turned a bright red at the feeling, one of Ludwig's fingers pressing lightly against his opening. Oh what? In the hallway? Where was Gilbert? The man was so pissy when they started without him!

"Where's Gil-"

"Do nod schpeak!" The forceful voice made Matthew cringe a little bit but he kept on folding. A gasp escaped him as a newly-lubed finger slid inside of him, slowly groping around. The urge to do _something_ was unbearable, but he hadn't finished folding his clothes… Continuing to fold he heard Ludwig purr, "Goot boy." It made him shiver and nearly press back onto Ludwig's hand but he knew it would not be a well-received action. Finishing folding his clothes he looked back to Ludwig as best he could for direction and just shivered, his knees going weak as Ludwig pressed on his prostate. "Schtay schtanding." So, what? He was supposed to sit there and take this torture without doing anything?

A vibrating noise behind him alerted him to the fact this probably wasn't going to be true for much longer. Ugh, Ludwig had the tendency to use more toys than Matthew had ever know anyone ever. His legs nearly failed him however as Ludwig removed his finger and replaced it with a vibrator.

"Don'd led dat fall oud." He said in a stern voice as Matthew began to try to get himself acclimated to the fullness and pleasure. "Pud dem ofer dere." Ludwig raised a hand and pointed to a table in the corner. Standing up straight and tightening his muscles to keep the vibrator in place, Matthew hobbled over to the table and set his clothes down, looking back to Ludwig for more directions. The German was already beside him, leaning down to kiss him. Matthew moaned into his mouth and put his hands up around Ludwig's well-muscled back. Ludwig's hands slipped slowly down Matthew's back until they reached his butt where he pressed the flare-ended vibrator with his fingers, pushing it around into different directions. "Led me hear you." He whispered into his ear, Matthew gladly obliging with progressively louder moans.

Reaching down, Ludwig grabbed both of their erections in his large hand and began to pump them. Matthew moaned louder and tried to buck into the pleasure. Ludwig grabbed the end of the vibrator and began to move it in and out with his other hand, aiming for Matthew's prostate and moaning himself. Matthew's moans were now loud and filled the house, past all the pleasure he couldn't help but wonder where Gilbert was. But, letting an eye slip open, he saw exactly where he was, standing in the doorway to the kitchen and _watching_.

Seeing the look on Gilbert's face drove him over the edge and he came loudly into Ludwig's hand. His body went nearly limp but he was still receiving waves of pleasure from the vibrator that Ludwig was still pressing into him. Curious that Ludwig hadn't finished himself, he tried to reach for his to help him along, but Ludwig grabbed his hand and smiled to him, shaking his head. At first, he felt rejected, but then Gilbert walked over and kissed him, wrapping an arm around him and hissing sultrily into his ear, "Totay ist _your_ day." The German brothers looked to each other and picked him up, him making a noise as Ludwig took out the vibrator and tossing it somewhere. Literally tossing it…

He soon found himself in Ludwig's bedroom, his chest and torso on the bed, his back end off. Gilbert sat in front of him, smiling down at him. Matthew managed a smile back but found his face heating up once more as he noticed he was beginning to play with himself.

"Do you have to do that?"

"Vhy, yes, yes I do." Gilbert rubbed his tip with his thumb and let his eyes close and his head roll back. Moving his hand to grab at him he found something very wet invading his lower regions as the fluids of earlier began to leave him.

"L-Ludwig!" Worried that what he was doing wasn't terribly sanitary, he tried to stand but was quickly caught by Gilbert and dragged into another kiss. God, he was getting hard again as the blonde's tongue slipped in and out of him. "God." He moaned into Gilbert's mouth, the Prussian kindly pulling Matthew's cheeks apart and kneading them in his hands. Gasping as Ludwig's tongue penetrated deep enough to hit his prostate, he twitched and Gilbert turned up the action of his own tongue. Ugh! This was awesome, but it was too difficult to concentrate on _anything_. So, Matthew gave up, beginning to grind his hips into the bed.

"Zay, _Westen_…" Gilbert said over Matthew's shoulder before biting it.

"Vant to acdually do some vork hier?" Ludwig said after retracting his tongue, confusing Matthew for a moment. What was that supposed to mean? He quickly got his answer after Gilbert left him and Ludwig picked him up effortlessly and put his knees on the bed, getting on it after him. Putting himself up on his hands, he looked back at Ludwig as he put his hands on Matthew's hips, a devilish smile on his face.

Soon he felt something underneath him and saw that Gilbert's head was between his legs and the Prussian's own penis was in front of him. And everything happened at once. Gilbert's lips closed around Matthew's penis and sucked, Ludwig pressed into him, a moan like no other tearing from Matthew's throat.

"Damn!" He nearly screamed, unable to censor any and _all _his moans as the two Germans set themselves to work. Feeling a bit greedy here, he managed to lean his head down and swirl his tongue around Gilbert's tip, it was a little hard to do so efficiently with moans and cries of pleasure interrupted him every other second.

Needless to say, with Matthew's noise and all the action, neither of them lasted long. To be frank, there was little difference in the time they all came. Ludwig with a possessive roar, Gilbert, a grunt, Matthew, an orgasmic scream so loud it set the other two Germans off on their orgasms.

Making sure not to land on Gilbert's face, Matthew collapsed off to the side, Ludwig, still inside him, on top of him. They were a hot, sweaty mass of panting and aftershocks, neither of them able to move.

Matthew was, somehow, the first to speak, but what came out was absolute nonsense. It sounded very close to "I love you two" and it would have made the most sense out of anything he could have said.

"Heppy Birdday." Ack, Germans and their accents.

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Notes:

Lol, none! Save for the fact it can be hard to find threesome stories… Also, happy Canada Day once again! Even though it will be over in about a half hour.


	20. Birth of a Nation

**965 A.D. **_**Nordmark**_** (What is now Germany)**

"_You're so beautiful._" A mother crooned in her tongue, a dialect so far dead by our accounts it hardly even has a name. The babe in her arms gurgled, his pale fingers pulling at her dark hair. There had been no crying when he was born, his bright, red eyes already tried to make sense out of his new world. But as the woman felt something seize in her chest, she knew she didn't have much time, especially when a tall man with long blonde hair pushed aside the flap of the hut and walked in.

Eyes wide and fearful of the very presence of this man, the child's father, she shook her head vigorously, her heart practically tearing itself out of her chest. The man, a person whose name she never even knew, knelt down by her and pried her dying fingers from the curious infant. She croaked her defiance and tried to inch back from him, failing to do so.

The blonde lifted the child from her hands, cold and uncaring to the plight of the human he found so far beneath himself. He paid no mind as her movements and words ceased, he was enraptured and captivated by the very presence of the tiny, wrapped bundle in his arms.

"_Nordmark_…" He named the child, knowing that if he thrived as he hoped he would, his name would change many times over the course of history. Eventually, he wouldn't even have a name that reminded anyone of his father. Germania was no fool, he knew that some day he wouldn't be around anymore and so chose to do something the humans did. Chose to give him something that even _he_ did not have. "Gisilberht." Came to his lips, a bright oath indeed, there was such promise in his beautiful son. Deep in his stomach, he felt that this name too would change. But it had to be kept within reason of his original name at least

The infant reached up then and grabbed a tiny fistful of his long, blonde hair, tugging at it with a big smile. Just out of the womb and already growing… A smile cracked Germania's stoic face and he gave the babe a small kiss upon his forehead.

"_Your name is _Nordmark _to your people, but you are also my Gisilberht._" According to the annoying Roman wandering around the area somewhere, nations could speak after birth. Then again, the man was so stupidly proud of his grandson that might have been an exaggeration. "_Can you say your name_?" he asked anyway, just in case.

"Nowdmawk." Germania blinked, surprised that had actually worked, his smile grew and he answered.

"_Can you make the 'rrr' noise_?" The tall blonde asked, making the noise two more times after that. It was adorable to watch the small one try to make the noise. Amazing for the humans to watch who had to wait months before their children even began to make comprehensible syllables.

"Rrrr." The babe managed to make the noise, Germania, brushing aside a silver wisp of hair as he noticed they were being watched. A quick glare sent most of the humans bolting back to their work.

"_Good, now what is your name_?"

"_Nordmark_." Gisilberht giggled when his father smiled down at him.

"_Yes, now what is the name only your family shall ever call you_?"

"Gilbert." Close enough.

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Notes:

Nordmark-Also known as the Northern Marches, earliest form of Brandenburg/Prussia.

Gisilberht-Earliest form of the name Gilbert.

Thinking of Gilbert as a baby makes me smile :) Also thinking of Germania as someone else other than the stoic-faced badass. Now he's a stoic-faced badass dad!


End file.
